Angry mother on the bus: Come here and sit down!
Four-year-old: No, it’s okay. I’m being good.
Angry mother: This bus is going to stop suddenly and you’re going to fall down and crack your head open on one of the bars, and before the bus gets back around to the hospital you will bleed to death!
Pullman, Washington
Overheard by: jeff
Professor: You just need to expose yourself! That's how you better yourself!
Middle Tennessee State Univ
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
Overheard by: Libby K.
20-ish girl on cell: Hey, yeah! Come to the beach, and we’ll set you on fire!
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/08/bring_the_3_person_slingshot_t.html
Overheard by: don’t think the cops will approve
Student #1: I told my dad I wanted to be famous, and he told me I should kill someone. I was like, seven.
Student #2: At least he's supportive.
Philedelphia University, Pennsylvania
Five-year-old boy: Daddy?
Father: Yes?
Five-year-old boy: When I grow up, I want to marry you.
Father: Uhm, you can't do that. What about your friend, Alex?
Five-year-old boy: Hmmm. Okay. I think I'll marry Alex instead.
Reynoldsburg, Ohio
Overheard by: Timothy
Woman on cell: Slowly… over the next week… add a fruit.
Barnes & Noble
St. Louis, Missouri
Stressed flight attendant, after four-hour delay: Folks, we've just been cleared for immediate departure. (passengers cheer) All passengers must be seated, with your seat belts fastened for takeoff. To do so, insert the metal–well, if you can't figure it out for yourself, you're in trouble. If at any point an oxygen mask appears in front of you, you'll want to put that on. In the event of a water landing occurring between St. Louis and Denver, there will be a flotation device under your seat and about three feet of snow in hell. Emergency exits–front, over-wing and rear–wherever it says so. Don't even think about smoking. See the safety information card for the rest. Here we go.
Runway
St. Louis Airport, Missouri
Preppy blonde on cell: She said she could see herself spending the rest of her life with him, so I told her: “wow, you really need to break up with him.” And she did!
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
