Bars & Clubs

Gay guy: I told them not to have hip-hop night cause a bitch would get cut. And what happened? A bitch got cut!

Outside The Hippo
Mt. Vernon, Mayrland

Girl inside stall: I love my vagina!

Bathroom in Bar
New Haven, Connecticut

Teen girl: This skirt is so short! My legs are freezing!
Teen boy: Mine are fine.
Teen girl: That's because of your intense orgasms.
Teen boy: True.

Starbucks
Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy

Drunk man at next table: Butterflies out the arse! And I wouldn't have bet 10 bucks on the sonofabitch!

Sushi Bar
Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: Sushi Enjoyer

Drunk guy at bar: My life is an episode of Friends, only there's no girls, and everyone's Chandler.

Bar
Dayton, Ohio

Overheard by: Kristin

Hipster to buddies: Look, all I'm saying is, that fish made me feel so special.

Stumptown Coffee
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Addison

Wine girl #1: We should go get tattoos!
Wine girl #2: We totally should, I'll be divorced by morning!

Open Mic Night
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: only if it's my name on her ass

Girl #1 (talking about her relationship): Yup, I'm pussy whipped. Or…what's the male equivalent for “pussy whipped”?
Girl #2: Well, there's that Ian Dury song that goes “hit me with your rhythm stick”, so maybe something along those lines.

Sabiá Bar
Sao Paulo
Brazil

College girl #1: So I met up with Jeremy last night.
College girl #2: Ah, the one with the small penis. Wait… No, Adam has the small dick. Jeremy’s the bad kisser, right?
College girl #1: To be fair, they’re both bad kissers. But yeah, Adam’s the one with the small dick.

Coffee shop
Iowa City, Iowa

Guy on phone at leather bar: Yeah, I’m at a church social… doing the Lord’s work. I’ll be on my knees later.

San Francisco, California
http://overheardinsanfrancisco.blogspot.com/2006/09/santa-mariamadre-de-dios.html

Overheard by: Kiko