Fat guy: Sorry I’m late. Mr. Sphincter isn’t being very co-operative today.
Nova Cafe
Dunedin
New Zealand
Fat guy: Sorry I’m late. Mr. Sphincter isn’t being very co-operative today.
Nova Cafe
Dunedin
New Zealand
20-something girl #1: I can so control when he gets off now.
20-something girl #2: How?
20-something girl #1: I just bend over and tell him that my ass is jealous.
20-something girl #2: Oh my god!
Sushi Bar
Tempe, Arizona
Chick #1: I was like, “I thought that shit only happened in porn!”
Chick #2: Or movies.
Chick #1: Oh. Yeah.
Cafe
Denver, Colorado
Male bar patron #1: Matt's just too much, man.
Male bar patron #2: I can't take that much manhood.
(awkward pause)
Male bar patron #3: I'm sore.
The Sevens
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Bar Patron
College guy #1: I can't believe I wasn't invited to the wedding.
College guy #2: Maybe if you'd eat another lizard.
Clancy's Irish Pub
Keyser, West Virginia
Overheard by: Millicent Bystander
Guy to girlfriend: My dick is aching for your vagina.
Girl: I missed you too.
Barista cafe
Mumbai
India
Overheard by: mehr
Gay guy: I told them not to have hip-hop night cause a bitch would get cut. And what happened? A bitch got cut!
Outside The Hippo
Mt. Vernon, Mayrland
Girl inside stall: I love my vagina!
Bathroom in Bar
New Haven, Connecticut
Teen girl: This skirt is so short! My legs are freezing!
Teen boy: Mine are fine.
Teen girl: That's because of your intense orgasms.
Teen boy: True.
Starbucks
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy
Drunk man at next table: Butterflies out the arse! And I wouldn't have bet 10 bucks on the sonofabitch!
Sushi Bar
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Sushi Enjoyer
