I'm Gonna Ride This Science Project All the Way to Harvard

Enthusiastic teenager, waving hands emphatically: If you can deep throat a banana, you can suck a dick!

Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: If you can wax a car…

Posted on December 14, 2021
BJs, Compare and contrast, Florida, Fruit, Penis, Teens

I Now Regret Having Deforested It

Girl to friend: My pussy's like a rain forest–dark, moist and full of mystery.

The Earl
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on December 13, 2021
Compare and contrast, Default, Georgia, Girls, Vagina, Weather

Don't Think About This Too Long, Dear Reader

Loud girl: Would you rather have cheese or oral sex?

Amherst, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Emily

Posted on December 5, 2021
BJs, Compare and contrast, Default, Food, Girls, Massachusetts

I Remember the First Time I Felt the Sting for Forceable Intercourse and the Warmth Of Dirt…

Tour guide: The vestal virgins would be raped and buried alive if they were no longer virgins. If they let the fire go out, they would just be buried alive.
Tourist: I dunno if that's any better.
Little old Japanese woman: Hey, at least the first way you get some thrills.

Colosseum
Rome
Italy

Posted on December 3, 2021
Compare and contrast, Employees, Foreigners, History, Italy, Old folks, Religion, Sex, Tourists, Violence, Virginity

The Two Main Options for Young Ladies Nowadays

Guy (watching NuvaRing commercial): I don't know, I would think that taking one little pill every day would be less of a big deal than becoming…a cyborg.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on December 1, 2021
Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Illinois, Technology, Weirdness

…But the Security Guard Was All, “Public Fountains Aren't Toilets!”

Drunk guy to friend: And it was like a mini-orgasm. I swear, it was the best pee ever.

Monash University Dorms
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Australian L

Posted on November 30, 2021
Australia, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Drunks, Guys, Orgasm, Sensory experiences

Years of Training with the Cast of The Lion King

Guy #1: When he gets excited, that kid laughs like a hyena.
Guy #2: Yeah, I know.
Guy #1, trying to mimic the laugh but failing: I don't know how he does it.

New Jersey

Posted on November 23, 2021
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Guys, New Jersey

Chives Are the Respectable Republican Cloth Coat of Herbs

Customer: I'll have a large hot chocolate, a chocolate glazed donut, and a plain bagel with smoked salmon cream cheese on the side.
Drive-thru grunt: What did you say for the cream cheese on the side?
Customer: Smoked salmon.
Drive-thru grunt: Oh, we don't have that kind.
Customer: What kinds of cream cheese do you have?
Drive-thru grunt: We have chive. Chive is like smoked salmon.
Customer: Uh…yeah.

Bangor, Maine

Overheard by: just wanted a coffee

Posted on November 18, 2021
Compare and contrast, Customers, Default, Employees, Food, Maine, Offers and requests, Restaurants

The Schoolhouse Rock That Was Too “Edgy” for the U.S.

Math teacher: Use the ratio test if you can expect to cancel out many many factors, like a happy schizophrenic child flailing his factor-canceling-crowbar.

Philippines

Posted on November 17, 2021
Asia, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Mental illnesses, Teachers

…Has Been Selected As Our New State Motto

Art professor: Say goodbye to sex and violence and hello to boring allegories.

KSU
Manhattan, Kansas

Posted on November 6, 2021
Class, Compare and contrast, Education, Kansas, Sex, Teachers, Violence

Compare and contrast