That's Not Quite a Haiku, Eric.

Guy: My favorite thing about Halle Berry is her vagina.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Shlange

Posted on October 7, 2017
About celebrities, Compare and contrast, Guys, Illinois, Vagina

What Passes for Raucous Wit, in Britain

Lady on loudspeaker: The train on platform 3 is going to Edgeware Road. The train on platform 4 is for Embankment Station. District Line services are not running between Embankment and Whitechapel. Platform 3 is for Edgeware Road, platform 4 is for Embankment. If you are still on this platform after these trains leave, you are lost and confused and need to find a member of staff.

Earl's Court Station
London
England

Posted on October 6, 2017
Compare and contrast, Default, England, Geography, Jobs & Careers, Public transportation, Train, Weirdness, Women

Smurfette: “I Paid a Lot Of Money to Even-out These Puppies.”

Blonde girl #1: It's like we've tried countless times to get her to stop, and she just calls us “anorexic whores” and tells us she'd rather be “doming up” guys.
Blonde girl #2, laughing: You need a ruin Smurf plan.
Blonde girl #1: But we've tried everything! It's like “get over yourself! You look like a 1980s cartoon character, with uneven boobs and a crazy tan!”

Toronto
Canadia

Posted on October 4, 2017
BJs, Body parts, Canadia, Character, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Offers and requests, Words

Maybe British Pizza.

Construction worker eating pizza: So basically, pizza is just glorified cheese on toast.

Hatton Garden
London
England

Overheard by: Katy Out To Lunch

Posted on September 26, 2017
Compare and contrast, Construction workers, England, Food

And You Often Get Out Of Limos with No Underwear on

Guy #1: I think you'd make a great Paris Hilton.
Guy #2: I do have a very womanly figure.
Guy #1: And you're a whore.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on September 22, 2017
About celebrities, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Guys, Illinois, Sexuality

Or When Tyra Had the Realness of Her Breasts Verified

Girl #1: Tyra will never be as good as Oprah. The Tyra show just doesn’t have the credibility that the Oprah show has.
Girl #2: Well, Tyra does serious shows sometimes; like when Hilary Duff is on.

Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama

Posted on September 17, 2017
About celebrities, Alabama, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Feelings, Girls, TV shows

I'd Ejaculate Prematurely Just to Get out of Her

Dude #1: I was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend.
Dude #2: Why didn't you?
Dude #1: I realized I fucking hate her.

Daly City, California

Posted on September 14, 2017
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Guys, Questions, Relationships, Weirdness

The Butt End Of the Mississippi Alimentary Canal

Hotel concierge: So, how did you enjoy The Big Easy?
Tourist lady: Oh, New Orleans is a wonderful city. I just wish I knew what it smelled like…
Drunk guy: “Ass.” That's the word your looking for. The city smells like ass.

Bourbon Street
New Orleans, Louisiana