Woman: I imagine that finding out you have a tumor is very much like finding out you're pregnant.
Los Angeles, California
Woman: I imagine that finding out you have a tumor is very much like finding out you're pregnant.
Los Angeles, California
Cute, hungry 20-something: I love menus, they're like porn.
SEPTA Bus
Philadelhia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by:
Old lady: Look at that cheese–such a pretty color! Like one of Hillary Clinton's pantsuits.
Santa Rita Cantina
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Katie
Guy: I suck today.
Girl: Depending on how much you suck, i might suck today too.
Troy, Michigan
Overheard by: pengie
Girl #1: Oh, are you talking about the skinny little Indian guy?
Girl #2: He's not Indian, he's Burmese.
Girl #1: Huh? You're talking about the skinny Indian guy, right?
Girl #2: Yes, but he's not Indian. He's Burmese. Like from Burma.
Girl #1: Well, who cares? Indian and Burmese are the same thing! That's like saying that Canadians and Americans are different! That's BS! They're not. They're the same thing, except that Canadians are inferior because they play hockey.
Kuala Lumpur
Malaysia
Girl #1: You're too horny for your own good. Why don't you just get a dildo?
Girl #2: Why would I want a dildo when I can just get the real thing whenever I want?
Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Hank
Guy #1: What? Barely legal girls are hot.
Guy #2: Barely lethal?
Guy #1: What?
Guy #2: What?
Univeristy of Florida
Gainesville, Florida
White trash woman on cell: Yeah, she OD'ed, right? I just got out of jail for murder. “Your mom died of overdose” is what she told her. You need to stop telling people all this, I could get locked up for a long time. You told Heather and everybody, she knew all about what I did. But…I don't know, she said to call her. She's at her house, I guess. Look, you don't do shitty things to people that are there for you, you do shitty things to people that are not there for you.
Computer Science Department
Ohio State University
Overheard by: Now Heather and I are both in on the secret
Girl to waitress: So the baby's a cute little bugger. They don't know who he looks like yet.
Olive Garden
Davenport, Iowa
Overheard by:
Goth girl, to friend looking at military jackets: You can get those a lot cheaper at goodwill, dude.
Overweight friend: Not in my size! When fat people die, they leak, and then their clothes can’t be given to goodwill!
Starfest Sci-Fi Convention
Denver, Colorado
