Got Any Bacon Chocolate?

Woman looking at chocolate display case: I don't want any of those. Those aren't death-on-a-stick enough.

Coco Flow
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Reiza

Posted on October 27, 2017
Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Oklahoma, Wishes, Women

Pickings Seem to Be Slim in Iowa

College girl #1: So I met up with Jeremy last night.
College girl #2: Ah, the one with the small penis. Wait… No, Adam has the small dick. Jeremy’s the bad kisser, right?
College girl #1: To be fair, they’re both bad kissers. But yeah, Adam’s the one with the small dick.

Coffee shop
Iowa City, Iowa

Posted on October 13, 2017
Bars & Clubs, Bimbettes, Chicks, Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Gossip, Iowa, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Penis, Sexuality, Students

The Tiara Helps But Not Much

Hobo to pretty girl walking by: You remind me of Mona Lisa! Man, I wish I were that pretty!

Mass Ave
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Michelle

Posted on October 11, 2017
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Hobos, Massachusetts, Pop culture

That's Not Quite a Haiku, Eric.

Guy: My favorite thing about Halle Berry is her vagina.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Shlange

Posted on October 7, 2017
About celebrities, Compare and contrast, Guys, Illinois, Vagina

What Passes for Raucous Wit, in Britain

Lady on loudspeaker: The train on platform 3 is going to Edgeware Road. The train on platform 4 is for Embankment Station. District Line services are not running between Embankment and Whitechapel. Platform 3 is for Edgeware Road, platform 4 is for Embankment. If you are still on this platform after these trains leave, you are lost and confused and need to find a member of staff.

Earl's Court Station
London
England

Posted on October 6, 2017
Compare and contrast, Default, England, Geography, Jobs & Careers, Public transportation, Train, Weirdness, Women

Smurfette: “I Paid a Lot Of Money to Even-out These Puppies.”

Blonde girl #1: It's like we've tried countless times to get her to stop, and she just calls us “anorexic whores” and tells us she'd rather be “doming up” guys.
Blonde girl #2, laughing: You need a ruin Smurf plan.
Blonde girl #1: But we've tried everything! It's like “get over yourself! You look like a 1980s cartoon character, with uneven boobs and a crazy tan!”

Toronto
Canadia

Posted on October 4, 2017
BJs, Body parts, Canadia, Character, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Offers and requests, Words

Maybe British Pizza.

Construction worker eating pizza: So basically, pizza is just glorified cheese on toast.

Hatton Garden
London
England

Overheard by: Katy Out To Lunch

Posted on September 26, 2017
Compare and contrast, Construction workers, England, Food

And You Often Get Out Of Limos with No Underwear on

Guy #1: I think you'd make a great Paris Hilton.
Guy #2: I do have a very womanly figure.
Guy #1: And you're a whore.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on September 22, 2017
About celebrities, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Guys, Illinois, Sexuality

Or When Tyra Had the Realness of Her Breasts Verified

Girl #1: Tyra will never be as good as Oprah. The Tyra show just doesn’t have the credibility that the Oprah show has.
Girl #2: Well, Tyra does serious shows sometimes; like when Hilary Duff is on.

Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama

Posted on September 17, 2017
About celebrities, Alabama, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Feelings, Girls, TV shows

I'd Ejaculate Prematurely Just to Get out of Her

Dude #1: I was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend.
Dude #2: Why didn't you?
Dude #1: I realized I fucking hate her.

Daly City, California

Posted on September 14, 2017
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Guys, Questions, Relationships, Weirdness

Compare and contrast