Why Some Kids Refuse to Come Out Of Their Shells

Little boy: Mommy, if a turtle has no shell is it naked or homeless?
Mother: It would be dead, sweetheart.
Little boy: That's sad, mommy.
Mother: No, it isn't, dear. Come on, this is our stop.

Metro
Washington, DC

Posted on May 18, 2009
Animals, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Default, Family ties, Feelings, Guys, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Public transportation, Questions, Washington, DC, Women

And the Third Is to Ask If We Watched America's Next Top Model Last Night!

Blond on cell: She doesn't call us in six months and when she does, the first call is to tell us that her boyfriend is dead on some motel floor, and the second call is that her mom is dead on the sofa!

Houston, Texas

Posted on May 16, 2009
Death & dying, Default, Family ties, Girls, Gripes, Relationships, Texas

Ooo, Let's Get T-Shirts Saying That.

Sorority girl #1: What did he die from?
Sorority girl #2: Cancer.
Sorority girl #1: Gawd! Cancer sucks!

CVS
Charlottesville, Indiana

Posted on May 11, 2009
Death & dying, Default, Girls, Indiana, Maladies, Questions, Sorority types, Stores, Words

Well I Certainly Hope So

Film student: Brittney spears is going to kill herself one day.
Film professor: Well, I see her more like a Liz Taylor, slowly bloating up and taking a long time to die.

Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia

Overheard by: Sean_G

Posted on April 28, 2009
About celebrities, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Default, Music, Students, Teachers

We've Given the Bin Ladens Enough, Sir

Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt!
Cashier: Sir, you can't have a receipt if you didn't buy anything.
Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt. I need a receipt or I'll kill you…because I am Osama Bin Laden.

Starbucks
New York City, New York

Posted on April 20, 2009
Character, Crazies, Death & dying, Default, Employees, Foreigners, Names, New York, Offers and requests, Restaurants, Threats, Weirdness

Isn't This Guy a Character on The Real World?

Ripped gym guy #1: This Jamaican guy showed me an ab exercise yesterday…it will kill you!
Ripped gym guy #2: (stares blankly, no reaction)
Ripped gym guy #1, louder: It will kill you! It will kill! You!!

Gym
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: wow, really?

Posted on April 13, 2009
California, Death & dying, Default, Geography, Guys, Gym rats, Health & Hygiene, Violence

I Mean, That's the Logical Route.

Guy to friend: No, dude. You wouldn't be able to kill a robot. You would have to befriend it and then, when it's not expecting it, rip its brain out.
Friend: I tried that too.

Westwood, California

Posted on April 10, 2009
Advice, Body parts, California, Death & dying, Default, Friends, Guys, Weirdness

“Cake Box” May Be the Best Speaker Label We've Had on This Site

American guy carrying cake box: And the 911 operator just hears “you fucking whore!” and the line goes dead. Seven hours later, the cops show up.
Incredulous Asian girl: And they were all dead?
American guy: Oh yeah, all of 'em were dead. That's why you're much better off being middle class in this country, health-wise.

London
England

Overheard by: Jai

Posted on April 4, 2009
Asians, Death & dying, Default, England, Girls, Guys, Insults, Questions

Whatever Happened to a Good Old-Fashioned Accidental Pregnancy?

Rich girl: After 25 you might as well just die. If I'm not married by the time I'm 25, I'm having a boob job, a nose job and a face lift.

Leeds
England

Posted on April 3, 2009
Age and ageing, Body parts, Death & dying, Default, England, Girls

Totally Struck, but Only Partially Killed

Girl #1, hearing lightning beep: What was that?
Girl #2: It's totally the sound that goes off when you're about to be killed by lightning.
Girl #1: Oh my god, I would totally laugh about that, except for my friend totally got struck by lightning this summer.

Fort Collins, Colorado State University

Overheard by: J-Rock

Posted on April 1, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Colorado, Death & dying, Default, Girls, Questions, Weirdness

Death & dying