Mom of small child, on cell: No, I don’t have any whiskey, but I have tequila.
Small child, pulling away: No, Mommy! Don’t kill me!
Cogshall Park
Fitchburg, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Why, why, why?!
Mom of small child, on cell: No, I don’t have any whiskey, but I have tequila.
Small child, pulling away: No, Mommy! Don’t kill me!
Cogshall Park
Fitchburg, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Why, why, why?!
Hungover guy: Yeah man, so it was all good until I got so drunk that I pissed in my oven.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/289732218/youre-fine-if-its-self-cleaning.html
Overheard by: hah!
Young professional woman: So, my husband and I decided we were ready to have a baby, but when I got pregnant I sort of freaked out and thought I wasn't ready. So I went out with my girlfriends, ate a bunch of sushi, smoked a pack of cigarettes and drank a fifth of tequila. Sure enough, the next day, I got my period. That shit really is bad for the pregnancy.
Flight over Atlanta, Georgia
Drunk guy #1: Yo, what are you doing?
Drunk guy #2: I don’t remember.
Drunk guy #1: Those are the best nights, bro.
University of New Haven
West Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: through the window
Sorority girl to another, sitting in booth: Girl, I was double-fisted all night long last night!
Gay dude #1, quite loudly, to gay dude #2: Oh my god! That is so nasty! Who on earth would ever say something like that out in public! I wouldn't want anyone to know that anyone could do anything like that to me, let alone enjoy it! Nasty bitches!
Gay dude #2 to gay dude #1, very quietly: Um, I think she meant she had a drink in both hands, you idiot.
Gay dude #1: Oh.
Chinese Restaurant
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: j-we
Girl #1 (pouring a cup of tea): Awww man, it's all the stuff from the bottom.
Girl #2: Oooh! After you drink it, give it to me and I'll read the tea leaves!
Girl #1: (hands the cup to girl #2)
Girl #2 (with a fake British accent): I see a hippogriff!
Guy: I did not just hear that.
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Misaki
Sorority chick #1: Hey, you know there’s Bible study in my room at eight tonight?
Sorority chick #2: Hmmm, eight? Okay, I guess I can come.
Sorority chick #1: And then we can go get wasted!
Ladies’ locker room, University of Tennessee
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: New Yorker
Drunk girl: Guess whose shirt I'm wearing!
Sober friend: Whose?
Drunk girl, without missing a beat: What?
(15 minutes later)
Drunk girl: I'm not even wearing a shirt!
Dorm Room
Wisconsin
Cute girl to suit: What are you drinking?
Suit: Absolut on the rocks.
Cute girl: I prefer Belvedere.
Suit: Are you trying to get a free drink?
Cute girl to bartender: May I please have a Chopin Martini, up with olives? (points to suit, then turns back to him) Go fuck yourself. (walks away)
Hotel Bar
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: arrc
30-something white lady: I just shove it down my pants. But it's not beer, it's Captain Morgan!
BART Escalator
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Hott Bi Luv
