I Even Got Extra Time on My SATs for It.

Cop, helping hobo into jacket inside store: You are not drunk enough to be acting like this. People are going to think you are just mean.
Hobo: I *am* mean!

Sugarhood Smiths
Sugarhood, Utah

Posted on July 27, 2015
Advice, Compare and contrast, Cops, Default, Drinking & drunks, Feelings, Guys, Hobos, Stores, Utah

Or You'll Spill Your Wine

Spanish professor, as class leaves on Friday: Be careful driving when you drink this weekend!

Hanover College
Hanover, Indiana

Overheard by: whitney

Posted on July 27, 2015
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Default, Drinking & drunks, Indiana, Teachers, Weirdness

I Suppose the Holes in the Balls Are Also Off Limits?

Vice principal: Listen up, everyone! The rules of the school also apply at the bowling alley. If you smoke, drink, or do drugs, we will call the cops. If you break anything, you will have to pay. If you hump the ball machine for the sake of irony, you will be sent home. That means you, Aaron*!
Aaron*: Aw, man!

High School
Englewood, Colorado

Posted on July 23, 2015
Colorado, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drugs, Guys, Money, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Smoking, Students, Teachers, Threats

One Nation, Under Beer…

Guy #1: This root beer is really… inspirational.
Guy #2, thoughtfully: Canadians like all types of beer…

Hot Docs Festival
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Felicity Thistle

Posted on July 23, 2015
Canadia, Drinking & drunks, Feelings, Guys, Philosophy

We're Going to Congress!

Student to friend: Just put the rape stick in the alcohol bag.

American University
Washington, DC

Posted on July 22, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Drinking & drunks, Friends, Students, Violence, Washington, DC, Weirdness

From Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Giving Head

Girl #1: Well, you know she gave that guy a blow job when three other people were in the room. Someone was bound to find out.
Girl #2: I’ve never even done it in front of people.
Girl #1: Me either, I’m not that slutty.
Younger girl with them: Oh, guess just me then?
Girl #1: You gave someone a blowjob with people watching?!
Younger girl: Uh, yeah. Back when I was 15 and drunk.
Girl #1: I’m your aunt: should you really have told me that, McSlutty?

Park
San Diego, California