Girl to friend: It's like karma in the butt, you know?
Friend: (pained expression on face, agreeing)
San Francisco, California
Girl to friend: It's like karma in the butt, you know?
Friend: (pained expression on face, agreeing)
San Francisco, California
Skinny girl: My sister is on a diet now, I don't like it. First she's taller than me, but that's okay, I got over it. I just don't want her to be skinnier than me.
Guy friend: You should be happy for her.
Skinny girl: No way! I'm below that.
Vancouver
Canadia
Guy to friend, matter-of-factly: You know he’s just teaching there for the kielbasa.
Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota
Dude: You fail to see that the rhinoceros is not pleased that you've clogged the bathtub drain with jam and celery. She's quite angry with you. I mean, if you just shit out a canary, it's not going to want to play tonsil hockey.
Friend: How hard would it be to get you involuntarily committed to a mental institution?
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Father: My kid broke his face today. He tried to do a back flip and kneed himself in the eye.
Friend: It’s fine. Kids are like lizards — they grow stuff back.
Liberty Mutual
Boston, Massachusetts
Kid #1, playing with blocks: This robot needs guns!
Kid #2: Pretend his hands are guns. [Pauses, then sings] Everybody dance now!
82nd and State
Kansas City, Kansas
Overheard by: BookVixen
Guy #1: She totally wanted to hook up with me, and kept dropping hints to get her roommate to leave.
Guy #2: Like what kind of hints?
Guy #1: Like “Yeah, I’m really tired, I just want to go to sleep.” But her roommate would not leave the room.
Dorm Room
UCSB, California
20-something girl: Like, he's such a nice guy…I don't even suck in my gut when we're lying next to each other in bed anymore.
Friend: Aww…that's true love.
Yorkville
Toronto
Canadia
Redhead: So, Kelly* has a new boyfriend.
Guy friend: I hope he’s not allergic to penicillin!
Redhead: Ouch! Me, too!
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: jessi
