Guy: All I heard was, ‘Blah, blah, blah, I’m a dirty tramp.’
Los Portales
Iowa City, Iowa
Overheard by: girl at next table
Pubescent boy screaming at elderly passerby: Fuck you! Fuck you! You, right there! Fuck you! (aside) Man, I gotta write an email. (screaming again) Your mother has a dick!
Eastchester, New York
Sorority girl #1: That whore stole my coach bag!
Sorority girl #2: Did you call her out on it?
Sorority girl #1: Well, no, it wasn't actually mine yet, but I told her that I was going to get that one like a week ago, and now she's carrying it. (walks past coach girl, who has iPod headphones in one ear, phone up to other ear) Whore!
Central Michigan University
Overheard by: Central Girl
Girl: Dude, she digs you, why don't you ask her out?
Guy: She's fat.
Girl: You are so fucking pretentious and shallow.
Guy: I'm okay with that. It means I only fuck hotties.
Girl: We fucked, does that mean you think I'm a hottie?
Guy: No, that just means I was drunk and you were willing.
Girl: Why am I friends with you?
Guy: I have no idea.
Denver, Colorado
Drunk girl, screaming: I’ve got rules! Rule number one: Jerry is a pussy! Rule number two: Jerry is a pussy! Rule number three: … Um, I forgot where I was going with this.
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/05/huge-update.html
Overheard by: lola
Evidence professor: You really have no idea how stupid criminal defendants are. Imagine the stupidest person you went to high school with. Now, imagine a person that your stupid high school buddy would consider stupid. That’s your criminal defendant.
http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com/2007/03/hey-i-know-that-guy.html
Overheard by: kw
Girl #1: I mean, there are those people who pretend to be so moral, and then you find out they're, like, fucking a giraffe.
Girl #2, laughing: Ew! That's disgusting.
Girl #3: Seriously, though, hypocrites suck.
Girl #2: But what would that feel like?
Girl #1: What, being a hypocrite?
Girl #2: No… You know… The giraffe.
Girl #3: Ew… Uhm, horrible?
Girl #2: Yeah, you're right.
(five minutes later, in the middle of another topic)
Girl #2: But really, I think it would depend on how old it was.
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: The giraffe.
Girl #1: Are you still thinking about fucking a giraffe?!?
Girl #3: We need to make sure she doesn't go to the zoo. That can only end badly.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: that sounds wholly unpleasant
Seven-year-old boy: Jonas Brothers! The Jonas Brothers can suck my ass!
Borders
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Amy D
Seven-year-old girl: Yeah, ’cause, like, no one was cool in the ’80s.
Super Wal-Mart
Augusta, Maine
Girl #1, after watching lousy pick-up artist with her friend: So, was that your future husband?
Girl #2: He just gave me this feeling… It was like I’d never be warm again.
London Tap House
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/02/dementors-night-out.html
