Your Editors' Verdict: Shower Yes, Loofah No

20-something chick on cell: Hello? Seriously? It smelled like your balls last time you used it! (pause) Okay, I guess, make sure you rinse out that motherfucker! You too, bye.
Friend: What was that about?
20-something chick: My boyfriend wants to use my shower, and my loofah.
Friend: Oh.

San Antonio, Texas

Posted on September 1, 2009
Balls, Bathing, Chicks, Cleanliness, Compare and contrast, Friends, Insults, On the phone, Questions, Sensory experiences, Texas, Weirdness, Wishes

Isn't Canadia Where TV Shows Go After Death?

Fab teenage girl with huge pink sunglasses: I fucking loved Sue Thomas: F.B.Eye! I have no fucking idea why they canceled it!
Teenage boy dressed in all black, munching cookie: Me neither. That was show was kickass.
Fab teenage girl: Probably 'cuz all the old people were like, “this show's really fucking gay.” But I think that that one guy was really hot. Stupid fucking old people.

Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on August 27, 2009
Canadia, Gripes, Insults, Sexuality, Teens, TV shows

God, It's Hot in Here

Professor: When I tell people I'm an English professor they always ask what my favorite word is. You know what I tell them? “Fuck” is my favorite word. Also, “lackadaisical.” How about “lackadaisical fuck”? (laughs)

Gordon College
Barnesville, Georgia

Posted on August 25, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Education, Georgia, Insults, Teachers, Words

I Also Liked Starving My Baby to Death

Teacher: No one liked middle school. Everyone hates middle school. I'd rather starve to death than teach middle school. I'd rather starve my baby to death than teach middle school.
Student: I liked middle school.
Teacher: Freak!

Portland, Maine

Posted on August 22, 2009
Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Education, Gripes, Insults, Kids, Maine, Students, Teachers

More Important Than You Knew

Brazilian guy to American: Pleeeeeaaase? Say it. Say it. Say “fucker de matriz” in English.
Brazilian girlfriend: He wants you to say (whispers) “motherfucker”.
American guy: Okay. (blandly) Motherfucker.
Brazilian guy: No! Like an American, please!
American guy: Huh? Oh, “muthafucka!”
Brazilian guy, laughing giddily and clapping: Yes! Yes! Muthafucka, excellent!

ViaRail Train
Canadia

Overheard by: Jim