Rowdy child in shopping cart: Mom! What's that?
Tired mom: Spam.
Rowdy child: Mom! Can we get it? Can we get it, mom? Mom? Can we? Mom!
Tired mom: No.
(rowdy child starts freaking out)
Tired mom: Okay! Fine, but will you eat it?
Rowdy child: Nope…I just like attention.
Sobey's
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: aleXis
Roommate on phone: You've gotta get through the ribcage.
University of Oklahoma
Norman, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Wondering what they're planning.
(five-year-old boy is slapping and punching packages of beef and pork)
Father: Josh! Stop slapping the meat.
Bystander: (laughs out loud)
Father (hissing): No! Not that!
Safeway
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: TK
Girl #1: Even when I was a little kid I knew it was Christian propaganda. I was like, “Hey, this lion is Jesus!”
Girl #2: That was great, say it again.
Girl #1: This lion is Jesus!
AMC Century City
Four-year-old boy: Daddy! I wanna get hammered!
(mom pulls out a toy rubber hammer, sighing)
Dad, to everyone around: Shhhhh, nobody heard that! If you did, little forgetfulness fairies will fly into your mind!
Airport
Phoenix, Arizona
Teacher: Sit the fuck down and stop acting like a bird!
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Seventeen-year-old girl to boyfriend: You can't do anything right! I send you in there to buy me some porn and you come out with hermaphrodites? It's called Real Chicks with Real Dicks, for fuck's sake.
Boyfriend (in thick accent): I'm sorry… My english…it is not too good. I saw chicks, I saw dicks…I just grabbed it.
Manchester, New Hampshire
Overheard by: taylor
Woman: My mom was in the hospital with brain cancer. Then my cousin showed up, and I asked her if she wanted to, you know, go to a craft store and get something for mom. Well, on the walk over, she… (makes farting noises). So you can imagine how upset I was.
YMCA
Beloit, Wisconsin
Crazy bag lady, loudly: I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy!
(sits down next to another passenger on the subway)
Crazy bag lady, now in passenger's face: I don't suck dick for pussy!
(female passenger gets up and moves)
Crazy bag lady: Why you jumping? Why you jumping, bitch!? You weren't jumpin' last night when that guy put his long ass dick in you last night!
Female passenger: Excuse me, ma'am, don't say that to me! You don't know me!
(subway train stops)
Conductor: City Hall station!
Female passenger: Excuse me, sir, there's a crazy lady on the subway harassing the other passengers.
Conductor: Oh, could you point her out to me?
(female passenger points to crazy woman yelling)
Conductor: Ma'am, are you bothering people?
Crazy bag lady: Why you tryin' to fuck me standing up!? Why don't you fuck me lying down like a gentleman!
Conductor: Ma'am, I'm calling the police.
Broad Street Line Subway
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Young buck #1: Do you want to go out to the track and race?
Young buck #2: I'm not fond of dust baths.
Monroe Community College
Rochester, New York
