Pity Hillary and Obama Can't Be Civil

Lady, bumping into man: What? You're so in a rush you have to knock me down?!
Man: Sorry, I was gonna ask you the same thing.
Lady: Watch where you're going!
Man: Please leave me alone!
Lady: No! You leave me alone!

Metro
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Jim

Posted on February 21, 2016
Default, Gripes, Guys, Offers and requests, Public transportation, Questions, Washington, DC, Women

And I've Been Looking to Trade Up

Skanky 20-something girl: So the crack dealer who beat me up in the third grade keeps asking me for my number.

Alterra Coffee
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Posted on February 17, 2016
Default, Drugs, Girls, Offers and requests, Restaurants, Weirdness, Wisconsin

Is That What Jesus Would Do?

Catholic school girl #1: (sings “Total Eclipse of the Heart”)
Catholic school girl #2: Stop it. I swear to god, I will shank you.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: Adelaie

Posted on February 15, 2016
Default, Girls, God, Louisiana, Music, Offers and requests, Students, Threats

Dental Orgasms Are the Norm in Canadia

Kindly older woman on cell: No, no, no, ask him to be gentle, tell him it's your first time…it's beautiful. You're going to love it, Caroline. Okay, love you! Bye!

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Emma Middleton

Posted on February 15, 2016
Advice, Canadia, Compliments, Default, Feelings, Offers and requests, Old folks, Women

I Was All, “But I'm Texting You!”

Young college girl #1: How was your date last night?
Young college girl #2: Okay. I don't think I'm going out with him again, though.
Young college girl #1: Why?
Young college girl #2: He was weird. He asked me to quit texting while we were having dinner.
Young college girl #1: Rude!

Starbuck's
Fayetteville, Arkansas

Posted on February 13, 2016
Arkansas, Bars & Clubs, Offers and requests, Questions, Relationships, Sorority types, Texting, Weirdness

I Told You When God Closes a Door, He Opens a Window

Father: So, any luck with finding a jacket?
Teenage daughter: No, but somebody tried to sell me drugs.
Father: Well, that’s something.

Victoria Market
Melbourne
Australia

Posted on February 7, 2016
Australia, Clothes, Compare and contrast, Dads, Drugs, Girls, Offers and requests, Questions, Shopping, Stores, Teens

Your Editors Will Watch Drew Barrymore in the Weakest Of Romantic Comedies

20-something girl freaking out after hanging up cell phone: I can't do this! I can't talk to him right now! Will you pretend to be me?
20-something friend: I can't! He'll know because of my lisp!

Chipotle
Lawrence, Kansas

Overheard by: Alexandra

Posted on February 4, 2016
Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Girls, Kansas, Language barrier, Offers and requests, Questions, Restaurants

Just the Guy We’ve Been Looking For!

Scientologist: Excuse me, sir. Would you like a free personality test from the Church of Scientology?
Suit: I don’t need one. My wife says I’m an asshole.

Outside Church of Scientology, Yonge Street
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: lauren mcgoldrick

Posted on February 3, 2016
Canadia, Default, Hubbies, Insults, Offers and requests, Relationships, Religion, Religious fanatics, Suits

I’ll Let You Use It for Special Effects in the School Play

Chick on cell: Hey! I had a miscarriage! Wanna hang out?

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Posted on February 1, 2016
Abortion, Colorado, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Leisure, Offers and requests, On the phone, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Weirdness

Yeah, Stop Emailing Me Those Photos.

Drunk girl: Guess whose shirt I'm wearing!
Sober friend: Whose?
Drunk girl, without missing a beat: What?
(15 minutes later)
Drunk girl: I'm not even wearing a shirt!

Dorm Room
Wisconsin

Posted on January 27, 2016
Clothes, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Girls, Offers and requests, Questions, Wisconsin

Offers and requests