Hysterical girl to people around her: Have you got crayons? Have you got crayons? Have you got crayons? Have you got any crayons? Do you have crayons?! Have you got crayons?!?! Argh! No one has crayons!
England
Hysterical girl to people around her: Have you got crayons? Have you got crayons? Have you got crayons? Have you got any crayons? Do you have crayons?! Have you got crayons?!?! Argh! No one has crayons!
England
Woman on intercom: Would Joe Smithson please report to the guidance office? (pause) Please? Seriously, please, please, please, just come… please.
High School
New Jersey
Overheard by: Miss Fabulous
Brazilian guy to American: Pleeeeeaaase? Say it. Say it. Say “fucker de matriz” in English.
Brazilian girlfriend: He wants you to say (whispers) “motherfucker”.
American guy: Okay. (blandly) Motherfucker.
Brazilian guy: No! Like an American, please!
American guy: Huh? Oh, “muthafucka!”
Brazilian guy, laughing giddily and clapping: Yes! Yes! Muthafucka, excellent!
ViaRail Train
Canadia
Overheard by: Jim
Economics graduate to friend, looking around sadly at subdued crowd: We should go to the poli sci graduation later. I heard it's riotous.
UCLA
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Another Economics Graduate
Girl, referring to a phallic-shaped pool toy: I would like my penis back now, thank you.
Claremont, California
Guy: Hold my backpack for me.
Turkish girl: No.
Guy: If you hold my backpack for me, I'll let you into the European Union.
Middlebury College
Middlebury, Vermont
Patron: Double cheeseburger and small fries, please.
Counter boy: We don't have small fries.
Patron: What sizes do you have?
Counter boy: Medium, large and extra large.
Patron: Which size is the smallest?
Counter boy: Medium is the smallest.
Patron: Fine. I'll take the smallest, then.
Counter boy: We don't have small fries.
McDonald's
Bloomington, Indianapolis
Little boy: Mommmmmm, I want a pet mouse.
Mother: No.
Little boy: Please? It can live in my room!
Mother: No! You know what will happen. I'll spend a hundred dollars on cages and food and toys, and Terry will just eat the bloody thing.
Pet shop worker to little boy: Is Terry your cat?
Little boy: No, my brother.
Pet Shop
Greensborough
Australia
Overheard by: Suitably Impressed
Waitress: Do you all need anything else?
Black guy: Do ya'll have some salvation back there in the kitchen?
Black girl: Are you for real? You makin' me laugh so much I'm gonna need a bucket, ya'll got a bucket back there too?
Perkins
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Deanna Gustav
Guy wearing Stanford shirt: Hey, look! Manatees!
Friend: Those are polar bears.
San Diego Zoo, California
Overheard by: Dayum
