Preschool boy: Can I play with you?
Preschool girl: Come near me and I'll stab you.
Playground
New South Wales
Australia
Overheard by: courtney
Pretty girl to boyfriend: I don't know if I have too many toothpicks, or not enough.
Boyfriend: So this is where the crazy starts?
Grocery Store
Havelock, North Carolina
Teen girl to receptionist: Where’s your giant cock gone?!
Badminton hall
New Zealand
College guy #1: Hey, remember that time I fucked your mom in the ass?
College guy #2: Hey, remember that time I dressed up as my mom?
Fulton, Missouri
Overheard by: The Sweetheart
3rd grade girl, about essay: I am writing about taking a vacation to heaven!
Teacher: Okay, but why don't you pick a place you can actually go on vacation? You can't really just visit heaven.
3rd grade boy: Yes you can! I went to heaven once to visit my aunt!
Auburn, Alabama
20-something guy: Why are you so concerned about this?
20-something girl: No, seriously. It will split your corneas in half.
20-something guy: Wow, I hadn't thought about that.
St. Paul, Minnesota
Dude #1: Dude, are you still drunk?
Dude #2: Maybe a little, how could you tell?
Dude #1: You smell like beer, weed, and hooker spit!
Lecture Hall
University of Tennessee
Overheard by: bluecollarbelle
Old lady to grown daughter: Well you know what your brother's problem is? He's pussy-whipped!
San Jose, California
Little girl: (talking over airport announcement)
Father: Quiet for a second!
Girl: (continues talking until announcement is over)
Father: Great. What if he was saying “Run! Zombies!”? We'll be sitting here like idiots while the zombies come…
O'Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Girl on cell: Wait… Wait! You’re telling me she’s not a zombie? You mean she’s actually dead?
Emory College
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Zack
