Young son, after burping loudly: I burped!
Father: Does it smell like baloney?
Young son: No…?
Father: Then you're not a man yet!
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Big D.
Young son, after burping loudly: I burped!
Father: Does it smell like baloney?
Young son: No…?
Father: Then you're not a man yet!
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Big D.
Security guard to woman who just drove over the curb: Are you drunk?
Woman driver: No, she (points to passenger) was distracting me with my vibrator!
Hospital Parking Lot
Denver, Colorado
Girl: What smells like lemon poppy seed cupcakes?
Guy: It might be my penis.
Bayonne, New Jersey
Guy #1: So, where do you meet girls?
Guy #2: You mean, at the strip club?
Guy #1: I mean the ones you don’t pay for.
Guy #2: At the strip club.
Skillman, New Jersey
Dad walking towards hotel lounge: Where are your hands?
Young daughter: Somewhere they shouldn't be!
Dad: That's right! Somewhere they shouldn't be!
Austria
Teacher, explaining sign up sheet: So, where it says “What are your plans?” You need to just put something like “Doctor,” “lawyer,” etc.
Blonde in back, whispering to girl next to her: Girl, I'm putting down “stripper,” then all of my classes will be in the humanities building!
College Orientation
Washington State Community College
Girl: Erin's beating people.
Security guard: You're not really beating people, are you?
Erin: It's my birthday. Besides, it was someone I know.
Halifax
Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by: girl in the front row
Girl, at beginning of Jesus Christ Superstar: Are they going to kill Jesus?
Boyfriend: Well…yes, Sarah. That's sort of how it works.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Girl in North Face jacket and Uggs to clone friends: I mean, why couldn't it have been a normal suicide? Like, this week? Really?
Penn State Library
University Park, Pennsylvania
Girl on cell: Wait, what do you mean by downtown? Like, down… in a town?
Goucher College
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Hannah
