Customer: Hi, I'd like to return these pants.
Store manager: Can I ask why?
Customer: The pants talk.
Store manager: (…)
Customer, frantically: I mean, they pop! They pop!
Burnsville, Minnesota
Overheard by: I had to return a pair of talking pants once too
Hobo #1, holding sneaker, to another: Put that shoe on!
Hobo #2: Man, I don't want to sweat in the shoe. That'll make my feet stink!
Hobo #1: Man, what the fuck you worried about? Your feet already stink. I can smell them from here. Those people can smell them from here. Now put on your goddamn shoes and tie that shit up tight. No one wants to smell what you got. Now I'm going to stand here and watch you tie those shoes for the good of everyone on this train.
(others on train applaud)
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Finally, a humanitarian homeless man
Teenage boy: Are you saying your asshole gets sweaty when I'm around?
Teenage girl: Exactly.
Northgate
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: NotSoSuperMario
Hipster boy: So, are you doing that post-bac pre-med thing?
Hipster girl: I dunno…I don't really know what I wanna do.
Hipster boy: Really, you don't wanna do medicine anymore?
Hipster girl: I dunno, I wish I could like, win the lottery. Then I'd go to like, Ghana, and just save people.
NYU Elevator
Obviously skinny girl: Do you think I should get lipo?
Friend: No! There's nothing wrong with your boobs.
Rochester, New York
Overheard by: wow!!
Psych professor: I dated a girl who was 4'10'' once, but she always insisted that that was the legal cutoff height for little people.
Psych student: Actually, I think 4'11'' is the cutoff.
Psych professor: What? I dated a midget?
Bennington, Vermont
Overheard by: laughing in class
Suit on cell: Wait, while I’ve got you on the phone, what’s your animal spirit name? … Ah, ‘White Wolf’ — of course. All right, see you then.
Coffee shop
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Baffled Bear
Boy: So, do you have a boyfriend?
Cute, chubby girl, with suspicion: No…
Boy: Can I get your number?
Girl: No.
Boy: Why?
Girl: I'm gay.
Boy: Oh… Really?
Girl: No. Sorry. Creeper reflex.
Boy: So you wanna go out?
Girl: No.
Starbucks
Manhattan, New York
Dude, approaching table of people: Excuse me? Hi, I noticed you put your salad in the microwave, and I was just wondering… Why?
Asian guy: Why not?
Dude: Well, it’s just… you had two… And you didn’t put the other one in… I have to know!
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/02/monday-madness.html
Overheard by: a’da
Dancing girl #1: How do you know how to line dance?
Dancing girl #2: I was a Girl Scout!
Dancing girl #1: What? Are all Girl Scouts rednecks?
Connecticut
