If He Asked You Out, He Probably Likes Crazy Drag Queens

Girl looking at herself in the mirror to stranger: Do I look crazy? Do I look like a drag queen? I'm on a first date and I'm really nervous.

Bar Bathroom
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on January 26, 2020
Bars & Clubs, Default, Fears, Feelings, Girls, Illinois, Questions, Restroom

Squeaking While You're Being Felt Up Is an Added Bonus

Guy: So they would smuggle one of these toy dogs in their shirt pocket.
Girl: Why don't they just put them in their bras? It's like “yeah, I got a boob job while I was in China.”

Rutgers University
New Jersey

Overheard by: RU serious

Posted on January 25, 2020
Animals, Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Default, Geography, Girls, Guys, New Jersey, Questions

That's Why I Married Her, Sweetie

Dad, leading three-year-old girl to bathroom: You need to go potty? You can sit on the potty in here.
Three-year-old girl: No, that potty's not for me. That's for mommy. She has a big butt.

Alameda, California

Overheard by: lith

Posted on January 20, 2020
Ass, California, Dads, Kids, Parenting, Questions

…Since HR Told Him He Had to Start Giving Us Warnings

Call center girl to coworker who just hung up: Did he tell you he was going to come over here and rub one off?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/325426424/at-least-he-gave-you-a-head-start.html

Overheard by: keep him away from my potato salad

Posted on January 20, 2020
Coworkers, Masturbation, Overheard in Minneapolis, Questions

Raising Vampires Is a Thankless Job

Old man on cell: Are they suckling decently? (pause) You might as well get it over with and drown them, if you know what I mean. (pause) Well, yeah, but are they swallowing?

Michigan State University

Posted on January 17, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Michigan, Old folks, On the phone, Questions, Weirdness

Your Father Is by Far the Obvious Choice

Five-year-old girl to sister: Who would you rather kill — Mummy or Daddy?
Mother: I don’t want to hear you talking like that.

Auckland
New Zealand

Overheard by: disturbed

Posted on January 14, 2020
Moms, New Zealand, Questions, Should have used a condom

Yes, But It's Pronounced “Canadia”

Professor: Back then they actually had Hell located on the map. It was in the north.
Student: In Canada?

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on January 12, 2020
Connecticut, Education, Geography, History, Questions, Religion, Students, Stupidity, Teachers

…Once I Ran Out of Poop

Daughter: Mommy, mommy, that dress makes you look sixteen years younger!
[Later]Daughter: Mommy, if you were stranded in the desert without any water, what would you do?
Mother: [No response].
Daughter: [to little sister] I would eat my own blood.

Old Navy
Promenade Mall, California

Overheard by: Claustrophobic