Questions

Guy: Ohmigod, you don't look Jewish, I wouldn't have known if you didn't tell me.
Girl: Awww, thanks!
Guy: So what are you doing for the holidays?
Girl: Christmas isn't about Jesus…

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Bernadette

Old woman in wheelchair being driven around busy food court: I hate this place! All I can see are people's butts.
Old man behind her: So why are you having me cart you around the city in a wheelchair for?!

Mall
Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: I saw her later stand up…

Blonde #1: So wait, your dad was still married when he asked your mom out?
Blonde #2: Yeah, and I mean I hadn't thought about it until my sister pointed it out, but I guess my mom was a homewrecker. So I asked her about it and she was like “oh, yeah…I remember the divorce papers going through.”
Blonde #1: That is so weird!
Blonde #2: Yeah, no kidding.

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Not the Daughter of a Homewrecker

Bimbette on phone, nonchalantly: So you lost your baby?

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Girl #1: Are those cows or people?
Girl #2: They’re geese.

Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Slutty girl: Hey, you know cow titties?
Quiet girl: Uhhh…
Slutty girl: Can you eat them?
Quiet girl: What?
Slutty girl: You know — cow titties!
Quiet girl: You mean udders?
Slutty girl: Yeah! Can you eat them?

French class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: freshman whisperer

Statistics professor: So let's say we ask a random question, such as “have you had unprotected sex with a prostitute in the last week?”.
(class laughs)
Statistics professor: Most people would answer “no.” Including myself. I'll leave it up to you to decide if that's the truth or not.

University of Guelph
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Danielle

Man with sons and wife: We made good time. Only took an hour.
Wife, getting angry: Would you stop letting people know how ignorant you really are?
Man: So what? We did the Louvre in 45 minutes.

Reina Sofia Museum
Madrid
Spain

Overheard by: amy abes

Five-year-old girl: Hey, mom, you know how you hate “pop and switch?”
Mom: Uh…what's “pop and switch?”
Five-year-old girl: The one where they trade bodies.
Mom: Oh! Oh, yeah, I hate “pop and switch.” That's scary…

JCPenney, Florence Mall
Florence, Kentucky

Overheard by: Dohiyi

Annoying professor, about optical illusion on slide: What do you all see here?
Student: A moron with tenure.

Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia