Angry suit on phone: Listen, I don't care what you think, if you don't think I'm doing a good job, don't fucking ask me to work for you! (pause) No! No! No! I don't care, I'm doing more important things right now! (pause) I'm buying plant food!
CVS
Connecticut
Overheard by: Guy
Hipster guy: Hey guys, this shirt's 100% organic. This shirt's made outta food! (quiet pause)
Hipster guy's friend: That is like, amazing.
Clothing Boutique
British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Lauren.
Five-year-old girl, happily: … And then I did it! I peed right in my pants!
Mom: Honey, you shouldn’t be proud of something like that. You should be embarrassed.
Five-year-old girl, even happier: Oh, okay! I’m embarrassed!
Whole Foods
Hadley, Massachusetts
Overheard by: velvin
Guy holding up green shirt: It's never too early to start thinking about what you're going to throw up on next St. Patrick's day.
Gap Outlet
Alexandria, Virginia
Frat boy reading section titles: “Self-help, cooking, fiction.” …is fiction science?
Barnes & Noble
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: almost threw a book at him
Woman on cell: I totally didn’t recognize her. Yeah, so I guess she thinks she can get away with not doing her hair and make-up before surgery.
Office Depot
Fort Worth, Texas
Buff manly guy, solemnly to friends: If worse comes to worst, we can always make S'mores.
Grocery Store
Southern California
Frat boy #1: Oh, dude, a ShamWow! (to friend at counter) Hey, should we get a ShamWow?
Frat boy #2, without looking at him: No.
Frat boy #1: But it's a ShamWow!
Frat boy #2: You're an idiot. (long pause) Fine, get the fucking ShamWow.
Frat boy #1: (excitedly runs ShamWow over to counter)
Frat boy #2: Fuck.
Pet's Mart, Montana
Overheard by: Sadie
