Then I Sniff It and I'm Like, “Ooo, Beer!”

Tiny pregnant girl to friend: He has this mattress that has pee stains all over it, and he keeps blaming it on the dog! I'm like, “yeah, right!”

Target
York, Pennsylvania

Posted on March 21, 2018
Animals, Girls, Gossip, Pee, Pennsylvania, Preggers, Stores

If Only Our TV Had an Off Switch!

Excited preteen girl to dad: Look, dad, it's Hannah Montana!
Dad: Honey, we get out of the house so that we don't have to sit around and watch this all day long.

Macy's
Bridgewater, New Jersey

Overheard by: AS

Posted on December 14, 2017
Compare and contrast, Dads, Default, Girls, Kids, Stores, TV shows, Tweens

When You're Swimming through Them Like Scrooge McDuck

Woman to another, shopping in frozen food aisle: You know, I think sometimes you really can have too many Tater Tots in the house.

Shoppers Food Warehouse
Northern Virginia

Overheard by: Pat Trenner

Posted on December 12, 2017
Food, Shopping, Stores, Stupidity, Virginia, Women

The Secret To Salma Hayek's Success

Hipster girl: I don't know, she just smells amazing. Her entire face smells like corn tortilla!

American Apparel
San Francisco, California

Posted on December 11, 2017
Body parts, Compliments, Default, Food, Girls, Hipsters, San Francisco, Stores

Just Start Fires

Three-year-old girl: Can I open this?
Dad: No. There are two hundred and fifty matches in there, and they’re going to fall all over the place.
Three-year-old girl: But I promise I won’t eat them.

Harvest Co-Op
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Posted on December 4, 2017
Dads, Default, Kids, Massachusetts, Questions, Stores

Crazy Like a Bunny

Older woman, picking up a bag of peppermints: I still have candy corn out from Halloween. Is it okay to have peppermints and candy corn out at the same time?
Younger woman: What do I look like, Miss Manners? You've been to my house…you know there's still Easter candy out in my candy dishes. And until that goes, I'm not putting anything else out.
Older woman: Now I understand why your children are crazy.

Grocery Store
Hamilton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Currrly!

Posted on November 1, 2017
Candy, Default, Holidays, Kids, New Jersey, Old folks, Questions, Stores, Women

Kids Start Disappointing You As Soon As They Possibly Can

Little girl: Mom, can I buy that doll house?
Mom: No, you don't have enough money.
Daughter: Can't I just use my college money?
Mom: No.
Daughter: But I don't want to go to college, I want the doll house! I don't want to go to college!

Toy Store
Canadia

Posted on September 24, 2017
Canadia, Education, Kids, Moms, Money, Offers and requests, Parenting, Shopping, Should have used a condom, Stores, Toys, Wishes

Even the Gardeners Wear Suits in Connecticut

Angry suit on phone: Listen, I don't care what you think, if you don't think I'm doing a good job, don't fucking ask me to work for you! (pause) No! No! No! I don't care, I'm doing more important things right now! (pause) I'm buying plant food!

CVS
Connecticut

Overheard by: Guy