Remember That Time I Did Those Tequila Shots and Used “Ain’t”?

Girl: Oh god, I must really be drunk — I’m mixing my metaphors!

Bucknell University

Posted on November 2, 2017
Drinking & drunks, North America, Pennsylvania, Students, USA, Words

I Suppose I Could Have One of My Concubines Answer Them, Though

Student: Professor, will you be able to answer e-mails while you are away, since our final is in a week?
Uncomfortable Japanese professor with strange British/Japanese accent: No, I will not be able to answer students’ e-mails because most of the time I come home I am drunk.
Students: [Incredulous silence. Laughter.]

Philosophy class
McGill University
Canadia

Overheard by: student who hated this prof until this comment…

Posted on October 15, 2017
Asians, Canadia, Class, Default, Drinking & drunks, Education, Offers and requests, Questions, Students, Teachers

Pickings Seem to Be Slim in Iowa

College girl #1: So I met up with Jeremy last night.
College girl #2: Ah, the one with the small penis. Wait… No, Adam has the small dick. Jeremy’s the bad kisser, right?
College girl #1: To be fair, they’re both bad kissers. But yeah, Adam’s the one with the small dick.

Coffee shop
Iowa City, Iowa

Posted on October 13, 2017
Bars & Clubs, Bimbettes, Chicks, Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Gossip, Iowa, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Penis, Sexuality, Students

Earth Belongs on the Ground, Not on Me

Flamboyantly gay man on cell, sashaying student union: Apparently there was like a three-day no shower policy to attend this Earth Day function! Whatever, I didn't get the memo.

UNC
Greensboro, North Carolina

Overheard by: Caroline

Posted on October 1, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Default, Guys, Health & Hygiene, North Carolina, Office politics, Students

Assuming We Can Find It

Student during modern world history class: Well I think the clit would be a good place to go now.

USMMA
Kings Point, New York

Posted on September 27, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Default, New York, Students, Vagina, Wishes

… After I Broke in and Changed All Your Answers to “Masturbation”?

Student: Yeah, she said ‘good luck’ to me. [Friend rolls eyes and shakes head.] I know. It’s the University of Toronto — she doesn’t mean ‘good luck.’ What she really means is ‘I hope you choke on a toothpick and die so I can get your spot in the program.’
Friend, sighing: It really is a shame this school has to be so competitive… How’d you do on that last test?

University of Toronto
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: A+

Posted on September 12, 2017
Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Default, Friends, Gripes, Insults, Lies, Students, Stupidity

Thank God I Live in Connecticut, Where I Avoid That Sort Of Thing.

Student #1: He went flying over the Rockies and they haven't found his plane.
Professor: Oh, good, good! I hated that guy.
Student #2: Who was he?
Professor: Some rich fucker.

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire