Teacher: So, what would you like to put on your poster?
Third grade boy: Glitter!
Third grade girl: Gore!
Acting Class
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Alpha nerd to friends: We should kidnap more people for parties.
Ottawa
Canadia
Teenage tourist girl to friend: Wanna play connect the dots with my track marks?
Friend: (laughs nervously)
Teenage tourist girl: Also, if you do that stupid thing with your water glass again, I'm gonna strangle you, and throw you in a pit and put a dead dog on top of your grave. Pass me that cheese?
Pizzeria
Rome
Italy
Guy to stranger: Is it just me, or is that guy jerking off to Pac-Man?
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Ride operator: This ride goes over 90 miles an hour… in your mind. We don't know if we can actually do that… without killing you. Enjoy.
Six Flags Magic Mountain
Valencia, California
Overheard by: praying the seatbelts don't fail
Girl drinking outside: It's just, like, I pay rent to live here, I don't want his semen and her little vagina juices everywhere!
Guy drinking outside: I don't think those guys walking by wanted to hear that.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Guy walking by
Pretty blonde snuggling with Asian boyfriend: Honey, I'm sorry I was so crazy earlier.
Asian boyfriend: It's okay, sweetie, but I am going to have to punish you when we get home.
Pretty blonde, smiling: A spanking?
Asian boyfriend, kissing her forehead: Whatever you want, sweetie.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Emo girl #1: I don't want to smell bad; I just want to look like crap.
Emo girl #2: Yeah…
Hospital
Salt Lake City, Utah
Hobo to another: Guys like us were never taught the value of words. And that's why I always come out on top. Because I understand the meaning of the word “itinerant.” And you, sir, are an itinerant and a philanderer!
New York City, New York
