Got Any Bacon Chocolate?

Woman looking at chocolate display case: I don't want any of those. Those aren't death-on-a-stick enough.

Coco Flow
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Reiza

Posted on October 27, 2017
Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Oklahoma, Wishes, Women

Assuming We Can Find It

Student during modern world history class: Well I think the clit would be a good place to go now.

USMMA
Kings Point, New York

Posted on September 27, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Default, New York, Students, Vagina, Wishes

Kids Start Disappointing You As Soon As They Possibly Can

Little girl: Mom, can I buy that doll house?
Mom: No, you don't have enough money.
Daughter: Can't I just use my college money?
Mom: No.
Daughter: But I don't want to go to college, I want the doll house! I don't want to go to college!

Toy Store
Canadia

Posted on September 24, 2017
Canadia, Education, Kids, Moms, Money, Offers and requests, Parenting, Shopping, Should have used a condom, Stores, Toys, Wishes

…Wanting to Make Something Of Themselves

Ditzy girl #1: Like, I love her… but she's just so dumb.
Ditzy girl #2: I know! I mean, she wants to take the MCAT. I don't understand that kind of people.

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on September 6, 2017
Canadia, Feelings, Girls, Insults, Jobs & Careers, Stupidity, Wishes

Many People Feel That Way About Courtney Love

40-something female suit to friends: I just wanted to cover her in Lysol!

San Jose, California

Overheard by: Wondering what the rest of the conversation was…

Posted on August 20, 2017
California, Cleanliness, Friends, Suits, Weirdness, Wishes

But If I Had to Make a Guess It Would Be “Pussy and Blow”

Professor: What did our founding fathers want? Who cares? They’re dead.

Oberlin, Ohio

Overheard by: Secret Spy

Posted on July 1, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Default, Education, History, Ohio, Teachers, Wishes

Available in a Wide Variety Of Sizes and Colors

Girl #1: You're too horny for your own good. Why don't you just get a dildo?
Girl #2: Why would I want a dildo when I can just get the real thing whenever I want?

Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Hank

Posted on May 23, 2017
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Georgia, Girls, Questions, Sex, Toys, Wishes

The Guns Vs. Butter Model Of Parenting

Dad: Do you want to get McDonald's?
Boy, screaming: No!
Dad: Do you want to get Burger King?
Boy: No!
Dad: Do you want to get ice cream?
Boy: No!
Dad: Do you want to get machine guns?
Boy: Yes.

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: Lacy

Posted on December 21, 2016
Dads, Food, Kids, Questions, Should have used a condom, Violence, Virginia, Wishes

If Platitudes Won’t Sway Me, Nothing Will

Guy #1: Well, they do say life’s short, gotta make the most of it.
Guy #2: I am pretty positive life is the longest thing I am ever going to do. And I am not going into that strip club, okay?

Sydney
Australia

Posted on December 14, 2016
Australia, Compare and contrast, Guys, Leisure, Offers and requests, Sexuality, Wishes

Last Time I Tried That, the Other Girl and I Both Ended Up with Concussions

(women's restroom, a man in a Santa suit enters)
Drunk woman: Hey, you're not a boy!
Restroom attendant: You mean he's not a girl.
Drunk woman: Yeah, you're not a girl!
Drunk Santa: Ho ho ho, ladies! I just wanted to see what you wanted for Christmas!
Drunk woman: Huh?
Restroom attendant: I want money, haha!
Drunk Santa: Then cross your labia, ladies, and merry Christmas!
(he leaves)
Drunk woman: Wait, what?

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Elizabeth

Posted on October 19, 2016
Default, Drunks, Guys, Illinois, Insults, Money, Restroom, Santa Claus, Vagina, Wishes, Women

Wishes