But If I Had to Make a Guess It Would Be “Pussy and Blow”

Professor: What did our founding fathers want? Who cares? They’re dead.

Oberlin, Ohio

Overheard by: Secret Spy

Posted on July 1, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Default, Education, History, Ohio, Teachers, Wishes

Available in a Wide Variety Of Sizes and Colors

Girl #1: You're too horny for your own good. Why don't you just get a dildo?
Girl #2: Why would I want a dildo when I can just get the real thing whenever I want?

Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Hank

Posted on May 23, 2017
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Georgia, Girls, Questions, Sex, Toys, Wishes

The Guns Vs. Butter Model Of Parenting

Dad: Do you want to get McDonald's?
Boy, screaming: No!
Dad: Do you want to get Burger King?
Boy: No!
Dad: Do you want to get ice cream?
Boy: No!
Dad: Do you want to get machine guns?
Boy: Yes.

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: Lacy

Posted on December 21, 2016
Dads, Food, Kids, Questions, Should have used a condom, Violence, Virginia, Wishes

If Platitudes Won’t Sway Me, Nothing Will

Guy #1: Well, they do say life’s short, gotta make the most of it.
Guy #2: I am pretty positive life is the longest thing I am ever going to do. And I am not going into that strip club, okay?

Sydney
Australia

Posted on December 14, 2016
Australia, Compare and contrast, Guys, Leisure, Offers and requests, Sexuality, Wishes

Last Time I Tried That, the Other Girl and I Both Ended Up with Concussions

(women's restroom, a man in a Santa suit enters)
Drunk woman: Hey, you're not a boy!
Restroom attendant: You mean he's not a girl.
Drunk woman: Yeah, you're not a girl!
Drunk Santa: Ho ho ho, ladies! I just wanted to see what you wanted for Christmas!
Drunk woman: Huh?
Restroom attendant: I want money, haha!
Drunk Santa: Then cross your labia, ladies, and merry Christmas!
(he leaves)
Drunk woman: Wait, what?

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Elizabeth

Posted on October 19, 2016
Default, Drunks, Guys, Illinois, Insults, Money, Restroom, Santa Claus, Vagina, Wishes, Women

Why Sherry Got Fired from Her Movie Critic Gig

Girl watching Christian Bale in The Dark Knight: If I had a cock I'd so fuck him in the mouth.

Racine, Wisconsin

Posted on August 25, 2016
About celebrities, Biotechs, Movies, Penis, Sex, Weirdness, Wisconsin, Wishes

We've All Been Burned by Facebook Applications, Marcie

College girl: I don't want to spam twenty people! I just want to know what fucking Disney princess I am!

Hofstra University
Long Island, New York

Posted on July 19, 2016
Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Internet, New York, Pop culture, Sorority types, Wishes

Michael Kors Drunk on Vacation Is Pretty Much What You'd Expect.

Man in the street, yelling: I need more pockets! Cargo pants!

Miami, Florida

Posted on July 14, 2016
Clothes, Florida, Guys, Weirdness, Wishes

…She Put Two Drinks Up There?

Sorority girl to another, sitting in booth: Girl, I was double-fisted all night long last night!
Gay dude #1, quite loudly, to gay dude #2: Oh my god! That is so nasty! Who on earth would ever say something like that out in public! I wouldn't want anyone to know that anyone could do anything like that to me, let alone enjoy it! Nasty bitches!
Gay dude #2 to gay dude #1, very quietly: Um, I think she meant she had a drink in both hands, you idiot.
Gay dude #1: Oh.

Chinese Restaurant
Lexington, Kentucky

Overheard by: j-we

Posted on June 22, 2016
Drinking & drunks, Insults, Kentucky, Masturbation, Queers, Restaurants, Sorority types, Wishes

Well, That Self-Actualization Seminar Was a Bust

Nine year-old girl: I want that shirt and you are going to get it for me. Any questions?
Mom: Many. Shut up and put the damn shirt back.

Target
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on April 14, 2016
Clothes, Default, Etiquette, Family ties, Georgia, Gifts, Girls, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Shopping, Stores, Wishes

Wishes