Scissors, Ipods, Horses, Pauses…

Dude #1: Hey man, wanna go get some things pregnant?
Dude #2: Um. What? What kind of things?
Dude #1: Just stuff. Whatever we find.

http://www.overheardatumbc.com

Posted on January 17, 2018
Guys, Jerks, Leisure, Offers and requests, Overheard at UMBC, Pregnancy, Questions, Sex, Wishes

Dude, When You Go to Work You're Totally Gonna Shit

High school freshman #1: Sometimes I wish I didn't live somewhere so industrialized. Why can't I live somewhere where people are hunters and gatherers?
High school freshman #2: I know, we waste so much time in school getting an “education.” I could learn so much more out in the world.
High school freshman #1: Yeah, and I don't understand why people go to work and shit.

Train Station
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on November 11, 2017
Education, Illinois, Jobs & Careers, Questions, Students, Train, Wishes

Carlos Beltran: I Hate Being an Outfielder

Female Mets fan: I’d let the whole infield fuck me in the ass with no lube if it meant they would win the World Series.
Friend: Classy, Michelle, real classy.

Braves-Mets Game
Queens, New York

Overheard by: aaron

Posted on November 7, 2017
Ass, Backdoor, Bimbettes, Creepsters, Etiquette, Friends, Girls, New York, Offers and requests, Weirdness, Wishes

Cat Owners Totally Sympathize

Yoga instructor to friend: I've always wanted to throw up on a cat.

Berkeley, California

Posted on November 6, 2017
Animals, California, Friends, Health & Hygiene, Sensory experiences, Teachers, Weirdness, Wishes

And We Could Finally Use Pick-up Lines About “Magic Carpet Rides”

Guy #1: Yo, it would be tight to work in a rug store.
Guy #2: Yeah, man. All those different kinds of rugs…

Oakland, California

Overheard by: archidork

Posted on October 30, 2017
California, Default, Guys, Hair, Jobs & Careers, Vagina, Wishes, Words

Got Any Bacon Chocolate?

Woman looking at chocolate display case: I don't want any of those. Those aren't death-on-a-stick enough.

Coco Flow
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Reiza

Posted on October 27, 2017
Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Oklahoma, Wishes, Women

Assuming We Can Find It

Student during modern world history class: Well I think the clit would be a good place to go now.

USMMA
Kings Point, New York

Posted on September 27, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Default, New York, Students, Vagina, Wishes

Kids Start Disappointing You As Soon As They Possibly Can

Little girl: Mom, can I buy that doll house?
Mom: No, you don't have enough money.
Daughter: Can't I just use my college money?
Mom: No.
Daughter: But I don't want to go to college, I want the doll house! I don't want to go to college!

Toy Store
Canadia

Posted on September 24, 2017
Canadia, Education, Kids, Moms, Money, Offers and requests, Parenting, Shopping, Should have used a condom, Stores, Toys, Wishes

…Wanting to Make Something Of Themselves

Ditzy girl #1: Like, I love her… but she's just so dumb.
Ditzy girl #2: I know! I mean, she wants to take the MCAT. I don't understand that kind of people.

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on September 6, 2017
Canadia, Feelings, Girls, Insults, Jobs & Careers, Stupidity, Wishes

Many People Feel That Way About Courtney Love

40-something female suit to friends: I just wanted to cover her in Lysol!

San Jose, California

Overheard by: Wondering what the rest of the conversation was…

Posted on August 20, 2017
California, Cleanliness, Friends, Suits, Weirdness, Wishes

Wishes