Teenage girl: You know what I wish I had?
Teenage boy, not paying attention: Uh-huh.
Teenage girl: A penis… I'd just go shoving it into people's butts.
Teenage boy: Wait… What?
Teenage girl, whispering to herself: I wish I had a penis.
Bus
Ottawa
Canadia
Student #1: The professor wanted us to list our ten favorite books.
Student #2: So?
Student #1: All I could think of was “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.”
East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina
Man to friend: She makes me want to cheat on my wife in front of my wife.
Exchange Place, New Jersey
Overheard by: John
Girl, to two guys smoking in a bar: Oh my gosh! Smoking? Gross! (walks away, disgusted)
Guy #1: You wanna follow her and smoke?
Guy #2: Hell yeah, I do.
Denver, Colorado
(a couple at the checkout counter buying nylons)
Girl: I’m really excited for these tights.
Guy (excessively excited): Me too!
Halifax
Nova Scotia
Canadia
Mother to five-year-old: Keep moving, we don't want to be in the first car. If the train crashes, we'd be done for.
Metro North Railroad
New York City, New York
Overheard by: BOB Sled
Man to wife: You can bring the Beanie Babies if you really want.
Brighton
England
Overheard by: Randy
[A young woman in a wetsuit and a young man in normal clothing are standing near the packaged meats.]Female employee: Can I help you with anything?
Young woman: Oh, no thanks, we’re just admiring the bacon.
Female employee: Oh. Okay! Have a nice day!
Vons
Ventura, California
Dude: I wish all guys had boobs.
Girl: What?!
Dude: It’s so much more appropriate to grope a guy than a girl!
New Zealand
Overheard by: Schmitty
