Statistics professor: If you’re not good-looking, you’d better be good; and if you’re not good, you’d better be rich… Oh, I’m sorry. It’s true, but I’m still sorry.
http://community.livejournal.com/overheardatbu/49683.html
Overheard by: me in cas b12
Guy #1: Dude, like my whole body hurts.
Guy #2: Well, I told you not to hang out with those girls.
Guy #1: Yeah, but I haven't dated a religion major in a long time.
Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: dave
Guy: You've got to listen to your body.
Gal: But my body's such a whiny bitch.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Stephan Zielinski
Dad to little boy: If it comes between your life and this camera, save the camera!
Animal Kingdom, Walt Disney World
Florida
Chipper girl: I tell the sex workers that they can wear the female condom before going out. You can wear it for, like, three hours. They are kind of loud, though — they crinkle! Sex is awkward, anyway.
Women’s health class, American University
Washington, DC
Overheard by: aimc
Guy on cell at register: I know! I know! So listen — when you first meet him, go up to him, bow, whip your own chopsticks, and tell him you would like to procreate with him.
Dick’s Sporting Goods
Fairfax, Virginia
Overheard by: Cashier who needed the laugh
Little girl: I love you, pole.
[She kisses the pole.]
Father: Don’t kiss the pole! Keep it rated G!
Outside a Dim Sum Shop
Alameda, California
Bimbette #1: We need to find men to buy us drinks tonight — I only have, like, 10 bucks.
Bimbette #2: Why don’t you make out with Mom again? That worked last time.
Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Professor: The best time to study geography is in the morning after you've done the “walk of shame.” It will help you to keep your mind off of what you've done.” (cracks up) That's good shit.
Geography Classroom
Michigan State
Guy to another: I don't know what to tell you… If she won't break up with you because you invited her to have a threesome, then tell her that you have some disability… (mumbles) …like, what's that form of autism called? “Asperger syndrome”?
Bar
Austin, Texas
