Animals

Little boy: Dad, what’s a “brer” rabbit?
Father: A rabbit with a lot of brer in it.

Magic Kingdom
Disney World, Florida

Overheard by: Natalie

Middle-aged woman with dog: Oh, she peed on my foot. That's your pee. That's your love juice. Did you put your love juice on me? You gave me your love juice.
Woman's friend: It's on your shirt now.
Middle-aged woman: Oh, she pissed on my shirt? It's okay, it's just love juice. Come here, stinks. Come here, stinky. It's just pee. Come, gimme kisses, stink-stink.
Woman's friend: Here, maybe you should let me hold her.
Middle-aged woman, hissing: Get away from my stinky! She gave me her love juice, not you.

Starbucks
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Pips

Guy: I wonder if any of these bombs are still functional. That way, we know where to go for supplies in the zombie apocalypse.
Girl: What? You idiot, you don't use nuclear power against zombies! They're already dead, so they can't get cancer and die! You would just wind up with a bunch of radioactive zombies!
Guy #2: Yeah, then it's just like Spiderman, but with radioactive zombies instead of Tobey Maguire and spiders!

Atomic Power Museum
Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: Amred

Oblivious 12-year-old in pool, surrounded by floaty toys: Hey, hold my noodle while I mount this whale.

Victoria
Canadia

Girl to boyfriend: I am the clownfish to your anenome.

Salt Lake City, Utah

Slightly drunk chick, peering into drink: I think my cat is gay.
Really drunk friend: Hey, heyyyy…
Slightly drunk chick: Or maybe he's just a slut.

The Backdoor
Louisville, Kentucky

Aunt: Well yeah, we dance with the turkey before we put it in the oven.
Girl: What?!
Aunt: Well you know, to give it one last dance.
Girl: One last dance?! As if it danced before!

St.Louis, Missouri

Teacher: So what gets left behind when sea water evaporates?
Student: Fishies!

Melbourne
Australia

A girl screams and begins running away.

Friend: It’s a chipmunk, you dumbass!
Girl, resuming original path: Oh.

Hubbard Lane
East Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: Jigga Mouse

Old man in hospital bed, to family: I've said it once, and I'll say it again. Tigers are the sharks of the land!

Poughkeepsie, New York