Queer #1: I can adjust to change, I think.
Queer #2: Yeah, but can your sphincter?
Leon High School
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Deathly Confused
Queer #1: I can adjust to change, I think.
Queer #2: Yeah, but can your sphincter?
Leon High School
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Deathly Confused
Guy: If you can like anal, you can like feet!
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Thug #1: Yo, nigga! I will beat you up! You hear me? I will demolish your ass!
Thug #2: Nah man, nah. I’ll beat your ass!
Thug #1: Fuck that, nigga, fuck that.
(pause)
Thug #1: Yo, nigga, what was our physics homework for last night?
Thug #2: Section 4. It’s on that Archimedes’ principle shit.
University of Louisville
Louisville, Kentucky
Teenage girl: You know what I wish I had?
Teenage boy, not paying attention: Uh-huh.
Teenage girl: A penis… I’d just go shoving it into people’s butts.
Teenage boy: Wait… What?
Teenage girl, whispering to herself: I wish I had a penis.
Bus
Ottawa
Canadia
Teen to another: I got so excited, I have wet butt syndrome!
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Overheard by: Kristen
Old woman: It’s like flowers were spitting out of my ass, so don’t go telling me how bright and shiny your (makes finger quotes) “effing” life is!
Small Town
Nebraska
Little girl, singing: You got a fat butt, you got a fat butt!
Mother: Now sweetie, that’s not nice to say about mommy.
Little boy: But its true!
Dressing Room
Union, New Jersey
Overheard by: Sarah
Thug wannabe: Damn, you see that white girl? She got a magic booty.
Mall
Buford, Georgia
Overheard by: girl with the magical booty
Frustrated waiter: It doesn’t matter if it was real or not. What matters is that it came out of her ass!
Cass Corridor
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: fox news
Mover and shaker: I went to a military academy, I know about anal sex. I went to a military academy.
Austin, Texas
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist