Guy on cell: And I wanted to say, essentially, “Bitch, my office manages eight billion a year, so shut the fuck up”–but in the refined and enlightened way one would say such a thing in the country club dining room.
Santa Rosa, California
Overheard by: Rose Fox
High school girl, looking at seagulls feeding: That ain't crows, them are ducks!
http://talovich.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Yugan
Five-year-old boy to barista: I'm getting my pee-pee cut off tomorrow so I get a treat today!
Barista: Umm…
Mother to child: You are being circumcised, not mutilated! (to barista) It's just a medical thing, he doesn't really get it.
Starbucks
Carmel, Indiana
Man in crowd of bar patrons leaving after last call, singing: It's ti-ime for the pizza store, it's ti-ime for the pizza store… I don't even care where we go, I just got to get some cheese on my dick. I'm just gonna stick it in. I'm serious, let's go, get that in an oven and roast it. Let's get it in an oven… and roast it like a cherry tomato.
Madison, Wisconsin
College guy: I like salsa, but it makes me sad.
Duluth, Minnesota
Overheard by: Nic
20-something blonde: It's just…she can't talk, all she does is scream and cry. She's not even a real person yet. I just don't understand how you can love her so much!
Redhead, lovingly cradling baby: Shit, hon, you have to stop saying things like that. She's your daughter!
Café Nero
London
England
Overheard by: Nit
College student: That one answer is wrong. You put a nine instead of a six.
Professor: I was probably stoned at the time.
Sussex, New Jersey
Dude: Just because I watched you out a window for an hour doesn’t mean I’m creepy.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Drunk girl to drunk friend: Unless you live in my vagina, you wouldn't know!
Springfield, Illinois
Overheard by: Random Bar Guy
Girl one: Smell my face. Smell right here. Doesn’t it smell great? The stripper I got a lap dance from was wearing great perfume.
Girl two: It smells like pickles.
Toby Keith’s Restaurant
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: At least it doesn’t smell like tuna
