English teacher, reading Hamlet: “To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come…” Alright class, we'll pick it up from there on Monday.
Frat boy #1: What the fuck was that about?
Frat boy #2: I don't know, man. Let's go kill some zombies.
Gettysburg College
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alyssa
Eight-year-old kid in line for Universal Studios park ticket: I know how to get a discount ticket.
Eight-year-old friend: How?
Eight-year-old kid: You get your friend to come along with you, then you stab him in the neck and say “My friend’s dying, can we have discount tickets?”
Universal Studios
Los Angeles, California
Bimbette, standing in front of George Washington's sarcophagus: Hold on! So, where is George Washington?
Mount Vernon, Virginia
Overheard by: Bemused
Loud woman: But she said it wasn't a Target! It was a Wal-Mart. And then the grandmother didn't die. And she's still alive today!
Panda East
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rachel
Teen girl: My other friend is, like, sooo dumb, I'm so glad she isn't dead!
66 Bus
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: kerminator
Mother to daughter: Come on!
(daughter rolls eyes and follows)
Random man to young girl: Is that your mother? You should be thrilled! Mine's dead!
Marin County, California
Smoking man in expensive suit to smoking woman in expensive dress: And then, either way, you're a zombie. Right?
Toronto
Canadia
Two-year-old: Waaaaah!
White trash mom: You want mommy to push your stroller?
Two-year-old: Waaaaah!
White trash dad: You wanna go ten feet under?!
White trash mom: Honey, it's six feet.
Sears
Nashua, New Hampshire
Overheard by: jefe
Cute little girl staring at ceiling: Mommy, what is that butterfly doing there?
Bitchy mom: It’s dead.
http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/05/and-its-all-your-fault.html
Overheard by: Glowien
Sweaty guy: Lobsters are self-aware, man.
(friend #1 and friend #2 nod in agreement)
Sweaty guy: Yeah, I used to work in this restaurant, and we'd make this lobster soup every day. I'd put one lobster on the counter and one in the boiling water. Dude, as soon as the first lobster hit the water, his buddy would start freaking out. He would put his claws up, like he was pleading for his life.
Friend #1: Yeah, they're smart. My friend's family had a pet lobster. He'd eat with them and everything.
Friend #2: Like on The Simpsons!
Sweaty guy, to himself: Lobsters are self-aware. Crabs, they don't give a shit, but lobsters? They're self-aware.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Karl
