Malls

Husband trying on sandals: There's too much bullshit. What is all this bullshit on here?
Wife: I don't know…there's a lot of stuff.
Husband: It's too much bullshit. I'm not paying for all this bullshit.

Leesburg Corner Outlet Mall
Leesburg, Virginia

Overheard by: Nat

Crazy lady, noticing long line: Is this the line to urinate? I can not believe this is the urination line. Unbelievable! I can't wait this long to urinate. There is no way. I have kidney problems. I need to urinate now. I don't wanna cut in line. I'll just go in the men's room. (as she enters men's room) I am a woman coming in here. I can not wait in a long line to urinate.
(a few minutes later, to women in line, while coming out) See! Your line hasn't even moved!

Hamilton Mall, New Jersey

Overheard by: last in line

Boy: Why didn't black people just move back to Africa after slavery ended?
Girl: They didn't have the money to.
Boy: They could have gotten the money if they really wanted.
Girl: They didn't want to move back to Africa! They wanted to stay here, they just wanted equal rights. What's wrong with that?
Boy: I'm just saying that they could have moved back if they wanted rights and stuff.
Girl: That's the most retarded thing I've ever heard. Seriously, just stop talking.
(some time later)
Girl: This is why I hate white people, no offense you guys. I don't hate you personally, just as a race in general. They piss me off.
Boy: That's racist. Wow, this tastes good.

Panera at Fashion Square Mall
Orlando, Florida

Pretty teenage girl #1: Why do all the geeks like me?
Pretty teenage girl #2: Why do all the alcoholic German boarders like me?

Boca Raton Mall
Florida

40-something tourist woman: But is it beneficial for your toaster?
40-something tourist woman #2: Umm…do I really have to answer that?

Underground Mall
Montreal, Canadia

Overheard by: Yes, yes you do.

Sexy businesswoman on cell: No, I'll be here at the office for at least four or five more hours, honey. Love you. Bye. (sits down at bar next to young man and rubs his crotch) Husband's taken care of.

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Guy (looking around suspiciously): Yeah, well, it was a couple baseball bats really. Let's just say I was really in the game last night, so to speak.

Beachwood Place Mall
Beachwood, Ohio

Overheard by: Just Buying Votives, Sir

(outside Abercrombie & Fitch)
Little boy, pointing at picture of shirtless male model: Look mommy, nipples!
Mother: Yes, honey, nipples. We aren't supposed to be looking at nipples.

Rockaway Townsquare Mall
Rockaway Township, New Jersey

Overheard by: We Aren't?

Four-year old black boy, as security car passes: Run, mommy, run! The cops are coming!

Outside of Wal-Mart
Cortlandt, New York

Six-year-old boy: What happens at grandma's stays at grandma's!
Mother: Ssssshhhhhhhhh!

Wal-Mart
Grand Junction, Colorado

Overheard by: Vanessa