Guy going on holidays to friend: If the opportunity presents itself, could you please not fuck my girlfriend?
Vancouver
Canadia
Guy going on holidays to friend: If the opportunity presents itself, could you please not fuck my girlfriend?
Vancouver
Canadia
Cute girl to suit: What are you drinking?
Suit: Absolut on the rocks.
Cute girl: I prefer Belvedere.
Suit: Are you trying to get a free drink?
Cute girl to bartender: May I please have a Chopin Martini, up with olives? (points to suit, then turns back to him) Go fuck yourself. (walks away)
Hotel Bar
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: arrc
Girl: Do you want this in your coffee?
Boy: What is it?
Girl: It's half and half.
Boy: No. I don't know what that is.
Coffee Shop
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Don
Woman: Do you have mothballs?
CVS employee: (after thinking for a few seconds) Is that a protein bar?
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Nana
Eight- year-old girl to parents: Can I pleeeese have a Cinnabon?
Dad: No, you don't need that. Finish your dinner.
Eight- year-old girl: If I don't get a Cinnabon, I'm basically going to kill myself.
Rest Stop
New York Thruway
Overheard by: Karen
Overexcited boy in cafe: Mum, mum, mum! Can I play with my new toy? Can I? Can I? Can I?
Disinterested mum: Sure.
Overexcited boy, holding toy: Look! I'm holding my winkle. And I'm peeing. I'm peeing all over the drinks. There's wee everywhere!
Disinterested mum: No, there isn't.
Kingston-Upon-Thames
England
Overheard by: Ben
Student: If none of this is going to be on the exam, why are we devoting a class to it?
Professor: Because I find it interesting, and you have to listen to me.
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
Girl #1 (super cheerfully): I learned that from Spiderman 3!
Girl #2: Gah! (quietly, while walking away) Why don't you just shut up?
Girl #1 (whining under her breath): Why don't you listen to meeeeeeee?
Pottery Class, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Just Me
Flight attendant: Please refrain from smoking for the rest of your life.
Flight over Denver, Colorado
Female student #1: Can you ride me piggyback after class?
Female student #2: Can *he* ride *you* after class?
Female student #1, giggling: That's not what I meant!
Male student: Wait, don't you have, like, 20 cats?
Female student #1: (slaps him)
Female student #2: You do have a lot of cats…
Simmons College
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Yoshi
