That's the Last Time I'll Try Absinthe.

Teen to friend: My house smells like bug spray, and there is blood all over my bed!

Pappadeauxs Restaurant
Houston, Texas

Posted on July 29, 2016
Compare and contrast, Default, Insects, Restaurants, Teens, Texas, Weirdness

Aaron’s Messy Handwriting Has Resulted in Many Botched Orders

Waiter: … Chicken nachos all on her butt cheeks!

Arlington, Virginia

Overheard by: Nic

Posted on July 25, 2016
Ass, Blue collar, Default, Food, Gripes, Restaurants, Virginia

…She Put Two Drinks Up There?

Sorority girl to another, sitting in booth: Girl, I was double-fisted all night long last night!
Gay dude #1, quite loudly, to gay dude #2: Oh my god! That is so nasty! Who on earth would ever say something like that out in public! I wouldn't want anyone to know that anyone could do anything like that to me, let alone enjoy it! Nasty bitches!
Gay dude #2 to gay dude #1, very quietly: Um, I think she meant she had a drink in both hands, you idiot.
Gay dude #1: Oh.

Chinese Restaurant
Lexington, Kentucky

Overheard by: j-we

Posted on June 22, 2016
Drinking & drunks, Insults, Kentucky, Masturbation, Queers, Restaurants, Sorority types, Wishes

Or A-Rod’s Rod

Obnoxious 20-something chick: We went to a Yankees game and had the worst seats ever. We didn’t even see Derek Jeter’s ass! … Or anyone’s ass.

IHOP
Green Bay, Wisconsin

Posted on March 23, 2016
Ass, Chicks, Default, Etiquette, Gripes, Jerks, Leisure, Pop culture, Restaurants, Stupidity, Wisconsin

But Only in the Fucking Men Kind of Way

Teen girl #1: So the guy you’re dating is gay?
Teen girl #2: No he’s not. He isn’t gay! … Well he is a little gay.

Restaurant Patio
California

Posted on March 14, 2016
California, Compare and contrast, Girls, Questions, Relationships, Restaurants, Sexuality, Teens, Weirdness

And I've Been Looking to Trade Up

Skanky 20-something girl: So the crack dealer who beat me up in the third grade keeps asking me for my number.

Alterra Coffee
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Posted on February 17, 2016
Default, Drugs, Girls, Offers and requests, Restaurants, Weirdness, Wisconsin

They'd Kick Themselves When Lauren Hutton's Career Took Off

Guy #1: She is just not attractive. I thought it might help when she smiled, but it didn't.
Guy #2: I know! It only makes it worse.

Wendy's
Carrollton, Texas

Posted on February 8, 2016
Beauty, Compare and contrast, Default, Gripes, Guys, Restaurants, Texas

Your Editors Will Watch Drew Barrymore in the Weakest Of Romantic Comedies

20-something girl freaking out after hanging up cell phone: I can't do this! I can't talk to him right now! Will you pretend to be me?
20-something friend: I can't! He'll know because of my lisp!

Chipotle
Lawrence, Kansas

Overheard by: Alexandra

Posted on February 4, 2016
Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Girls, Kansas, Language barrier, Offers and requests, Questions, Restaurants

See My Rattail?

Man at bar: What do you girls do for a living?
Attractive women: We’re in sales, you?
Man: You’re in sales? I think you need a career change.
Women: I’m sorry, what do you do?
Man: I’m with the carnival.

Country Bar
Fort Worth, Texas

Posted on January 30, 2016
Advice, Chicks, Default, Guys, Jobs & Careers, Questions, Restaurants, Strangers, Texas, Weirdness, Women

The Pope: Perhaps I Haven’t Been Clear…

Cool college chick to friends: Ya know, birth control is the thing that makes sex okay.

Mexican Restaurant
Virginia

Overheard by: KMCV

Posted on December 12, 2015
Abortion, Default, Friends, Restaurants, Sex, Sorority types, Virginia

Restaurants