Today on All My Cookies

Teen to friend: I don't care how many time you watch Sesame Street, it is not a soap opera.

Wicklow
Ireland

Posted on November 27, 2016
Compare and contrast, Default, Gender issues, Ireland, Teens, TV shows

Care Bears: Oopsy Does It! Is Exactly Like That

Really hot girl: Dude, it’s like the Care Bears came and puked on my face!

Denver, Colorado

Posted on November 21, 2016
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Girls, TV shows, Weirdness

The Most High-Brow Reference to Be Made in Arkansas

Cultured student, before exam week: I'm drinking more Earl Grey than Jean-Luc Picard this week.

High School
Little Rock, Arkansas

Posted on August 14, 2016
Arkansas, Compare and contrast, Default, Food, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, TV shows

Is That Even Possible?

Jersey Shore fan: Can you put on Jersey Shore? It's the reunion!
Bartender: Sure, I was kind of hoping someone would ask.
Female drinker: Wow, I am going to watch this dumbass show in a bar, is this happening?
Jersey Shore fan: You love it, don't try to lie cause your boys are here.
Bartender: These people are crazy, and that's why we watch.
Bar patron: I cant believe I am watching the reunion show without having seen a full episode. You are right: I cant stop watching this. What the fuck? Is her name J-Lo?
Jersey Shore fan: J… Wow! She is awesome, snookie is my favorite. I wish I could be friends with her.
Bartender: You have enough slutty friends.

Bar
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Earnie Hustleton

Posted on February 16, 2016
Baristas, Bars & Clubs, Drunks, Insults, Pennsylvania, Sexuality, TV shows, Wishes

Or Wokker, Texas Ranger

Student to friend: Of course meat and veggies on a plate aren't supposed to touch each other! If they were then they'd be called… Uh… Uh… Starsky and Hutch!

Hillerød
Denmark

Overheard by: ?

Posted on December 2, 2015
Europe, Food, Friends, Names, Students, TV shows

As Explained in The Necronomicoffee

Young woman: Then I read that conversation with… Oh, brain fart… You know, that news anchor? Anyway, that's when I decided unsweetened coffee was the mark of the usurper.

Hampton Bays
New York

Posted on October 25, 2015
Default, New York, Questions, Stupidity, TV shows, Women, Words

You Could Just Steal the Boxed Set, Sweetie.

Teenage daughter: Mom, I have a plan for my future.
Mother: And what's that?
Teenage daughter: Save someone's life so they are indebted to me and will buy me the complete Twilight Zone boxed set.
Mother: Between this and your brother who I haven't seen in four days, I don't think I screwed up at all.

Highlands Ranch, Colorado

Overheard by: Julia

Posted on October 3, 2015
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Family ties, Moms, Parenting, Stupidity, Teens, TV shows

And What's Written on the Box Makes No Sense at All

Bad-ass #1: What is Two and a Half Men about, anyway?
Bad-ass #2: Stop fuckin' askin' me, man! I told you, I don't know!

Video Store
Adelaide
Australia

Overheard by: behind the counter

Posted on August 19, 2015
Assholes, Australia, Insults, Questions, Stores, Stupidity, TV shows

You're That Guy Every Day.

Girlfriend: I'm gonna get a black wig and a skirt, and I'm putting body-glitter on you and doing your hair like you're in 90210 and you're going as Edward. It'll be like ironic.
Boyfriend: I'm gonna put some mayonnaise on my pants and go as that “jizzed in my pants” guy.
Girlfriend: No, you're not.

Gainesville, Florida

Posted on August 11, 2015
Clothes, Clothing, Couples, Cum, Florida, Food, Hair, TV shows

Instead of Prison, Convicts Should Be Sentenced to Host Slumber Parties

Group of little girls to window poster: Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana!
Exasperated father: Don’t kiss that!

Mall
San Diego, California

Posted on August 6, 2015
California, Dads, Default, Family, Girls, Kids, Malls, Offers and requests, Should have used a condom, Siblings, TV shows

TV shows