Riverdale Hasn't Been the Same Since Archie Went Off the Rails

Teenage girl #1: I mean, what's the point of dating an ugly, short, junior with herpes and acne if he doesn't even have his learner's permit?
Teenage girl #2: Shut up and eat.

Shari's Restaurant
Beaverton, Oregon

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on September 8, 2018
Age and ageing, Beauty, Default, Girls, Offers and requests, Oregon, Questions, Relationships, Restaurants, STDs, Teens

You're As Big a Disappointment As Your Mother!

Elderly lady to six-month-old baby: Now, I want you to say nice and clearly, “here I am, grandmother,” when I ask you where you are.

Oxford
England

Posted on July 28, 2018
Age and ageing, Bringing it back to you, Family ties, Kids, Old folks, UK

…When I Sat on His Face. What?

Girl #1: My 21st birthday was fun.
Girl #2: So was mine, minus the fact that my friends bought stuffed animal beavers at the winery and proceeded to yell about how soft and hairy their beavers were… While my dad was driving.
Girl #2's grandma: What's a beaver?
Girl #2's mom: It's…what some people call the female genitalia.
Girl #2's grandma: Ohhh…your grandfather used to just call it a cunt.

San Francisco, California

Posted on June 12, 2018
Age and ageing, Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Family ties, Girls, Hair, Moms, Old folks, Questions, San Francisco, Vagina, Words

Tonight, on the Pilot Episode Of The Golden-Palace Girls…

Woman to ten-year-old son: When I'm old and feeble, will you take me in and take care of me?
Ten-year-old son: No. I'm going to put you in a home with a bunch of Asian people.

Chesapeake, Virginia

Overheard by: Kids these days.

Posted on March 6, 2018
Age and ageing, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Questions, Threats, Virginia

Called Him Jonah

Crackhead lady: I was raised on McDonald’s hamburgers until one day I puked up a fish!

McDonald’s
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia

Posted on January 27, 2018
Age and ageing, Canadia, Crazies, Default, Druggies, Food, Health & Hygiene

Better Than Our Current Strategy in the Middle East

Crazy hobo, walking in office: Ecstasy! Ecstasy! Give every male one shot of ecstasy a day from the time they are seven to seventy, and that will end all the violence!

Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: follylolly

Posted on January 9, 2018
Age and ageing, Arizona, Crazies, Drugs, Hobos, Violence, Weirdness

Even Mothers Don't Really Know Where Babies Come From

60-something woman: He has always been a quiet person. He's been that way for as long as I have know him, and I have known him since he was a little boy.
Car salesman: Yeah. Wait, didn't you give birth to him?
Woman: I guess I have known him pretty much from the beginning, then. Weird.

Car Dealership
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: stephen