Blundergrad: I was really irritable today. There was something up my butt. Literally!
Northwestern University
Illinois
Blundergrad: I was really irritable today. There was something up my butt. Literally!
Northwestern University
Illinois
Biology professor: There are a lot of great tits in england.
Knox College
Galesburg, Illinois
Overheard by: Oh, bio…
Jock #1: Yo, dude, so you know how to get there?
Jock #2: Naw, man.
Jock #1: You don’t know how to get there?
Jock #2: Where?
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Nik
Tipsy girlfriend, playing “Never Have I Ever”: Never have I ever done 69 with anyone.
Boyfriend: Ping.
Girlfriend: What?! Who did you 69?!
Boyfriend: You, fool!
Girlfriend: Oh.
Ohio University
Athens, Ohio
Overheard by: outfirst
Professor: So if we played the word association game, and I said the word “ice cream”, Tiffany might say “playground” because she used to eat ice cream on the playground. And then maybe if I said the words “ice cream” to Tom, he might say “sex” because he’s a serial rapist.
Tom: But I’m not.
SUNY
Geneseo, New York
Overheard by: Colin
Student: I just have a question about the alphabet.
Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York
Serious girl: You have to clean your bathroom or else there’ll be hungry ghosts lurking behind your toilet.
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Freshman #1: So… where is he from?
Freshman #2: He’s from the part of Georgia where they ass-rape you.
Washington University
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: New Yorker hopefully about to graduate
Girl on cell: Listen, he is not a nice guy. Anyone with handcuffs permanently attached to his bed frame is not a nice guy.
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Girl: So then I was about to call him a giant asshole, but I figured he’d take it as a compliment…
Guy: I get it! It’s because he’s gay!
University of Alabama
Alabama
