Microbiology lecturer: If you were a bacteria, this would be a highly pornographic image.
Melbourne University
Australia
Microbiology lecturer: If you were a bacteria, this would be a highly pornographic image.
Melbourne University
Australia
Sober girl, crossing street: So what happened?
Tipsy girl: Well, everything was fine, I guess, but then the sex got really boring, so I had to let him go. Oh god, was that really loud?
Random stranger: Yup.
Dupont Circle
Washington, DC
Brunette bimbo: I told my mom it feels, like, more slippery in your mouth, and she was like “thats exactly how it feels!”
University of Miami, Florida
Teen girl: Being around you makes me want to talk about my bowel movements.
La Capilla
Torrance, California
Overheard by: J-dawg.
Dude to chick: It's the first day of class–let's get wasted! (both hi five)
Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Chick: He knows how to put it in, he just hasn’t ever done it before.
Laurentian University
Sudbury, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Beebo
Girl #1: So do you have any friends who are total disasters like us, who would want to go to Vegas that weekend?
Girl #2: I have a friend who's getting an abortion next week.
Girl #1: Oh, good, so she'll be good to go by then.
Bar
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Orkide
20-something girl to friends: And I was like, he was my first ugly boyfriend and my first kiss, and I was like “grandma!”
Maxwell’s
Cedarburg, Wisconsin
Overheard by: and i was like, what?!
Mom to teenage daughter: Yeah, they swell up big, you shoulda seen it, looked like I had a pussy on my hand.
Courtroom
Houston, Texas
Father: My kid broke his face today. He tried to do a back flip and kneed himself in the eye.
Friend: It’s fine. Kids are like lizards — they grow stuff back.
Liberty Mutual
Boston, Massachusetts
