30-something guy to friend: Yeah, but you teabagging me does not mean you’re concerned about my safety!
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: good thing i’d already finished my taco
30-something guy to friend: Yeah, but you teabagging me does not mean you’re concerned about my safety!
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: good thing i’d already finished my taco
Drunk guy on cell: Dad, I can’t talk right now, I’m surrounded by FBI agents, but I’ve got your $100, your beer, and your marijuana. Oh, and your toilet paper. [Pause.] No, dad, FBI agents. [Pause.] I don’t know, they’re all beautiful women.
B Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Feminist speaker: What does feminism mean to you?
Dude: Lack of delicious sandwich?
Catholic High School classroom
Aurora, Colorado
Guy on cell: Just because you own one doesn’t make you Mormon!
Barnes & Noble
Southlake, Texas
Overheard by: Autumn
Female student, looking at Valentine candy display: Oh, I love those little cinnamon hearts.
Male student: Oh, me too. When I was a kid I used to snort them up my nose.
Guelph
Ontario
Canadia
Ten-year-old boy: You know what I would have if I could have four wishes?
Big sister: I don’t know. What?
Ten-year-old boy: One: no drought in Georgia; Two: no global warming; Three: world peace; Four: a Komodo dragon that is really nice and fun to play with, is a vegetarian, lives forever and can grant eternal life.
Druid Hills, Atlanta
Overheard by: Miranda
Teen boy to other teen boy: You’d be racist if you weren’t so funny.
Leeds, England
Overheard by: Ashleigh
Teenage girl: Ohmigod, guess what!
Boyfriend: What?
Teenage girl: I just ran over a possum and it humped my car!
Chattanooga, Tennessee
Girl: So yeah, it would just be like Gulliver’s Travels.
[Pause.]Boy: There’d be kitten penises everywhere!
Warwick, England
American chick #1: Ohmigod! Look at those white cows! I’ve never seen cows like that before!
American chick #2: Maybe they’re albino… Or it could be a special British type of cow.
Guy sitting behind them: … Those are sheep.
Bus, Southern England
Overheard by: pretends to be Canadian
