Guy: I've never seen an emcee try to facefuck a crowd like that before.
The Roxy
Boston, Massachusetts
Guy: I've never seen an emcee try to facefuck a crowd like that before.
The Roxy
Boston, Massachusetts
Guy: This macaroni and cheese tastes like prison.
Davenport, Iowa
Overheard by: Don
Woman, watching magnificent poodle: Oh my god, that's the most beautiful dog in the world!
Man, wounded: Hey! I'm the most beautiful dog in the world!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Man on cell in line at bank, clearly agitated: After what happened last time, you expect me to do that? (pause) What? I can't work with that! (dead silence, then yelling) Look, you motherfucker… I know what the goddamn price of heroin is, and that's not it! (runs away from bank, gets on his 745 BMW)
Customer in line: Did he just say what I think he said?
Teller: I totally heard “heroin.”
Tukwila, Washington
Boy #1: Your girlfriend's name is Emily, right?
Boy #2: Kate.
Boy #1, shrugging: They're both animals.
Boy #2, agreeing: Both start with vowels.
Boy #1: What?
Boy #2: What?
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: MaggieB
Girl to boy: Yeah, well, I watched Hentai once. I think Japanese people have mammal fetishes because all the girls had four ears, and there seemed to be furry rodents latched onto their vulvae.
Hammondsport, New York
Guy: Do you know what “felching” is?
Girl: No… Is it tasty?
New Jersey
Drunk guy: I'm so happy I'm a guy. I don't have to wipe after I pee.
Tipsy girl: You should really wipe if you want Lisa* to suck your dick.
Bayonne, New Jersey
Girl: Good morning, Rob*.
Guy, gasping: Your voice changed! It's deeper!
Girl: Oh. This is my morning voice. It's how I sound in the morning.
Guy: You're not cute anymore!
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Drunk boy, about text message: That doesn't say anything.
Drunk girl: Yes, it does. It says, “hey, what's up?”
Drunk boy: No, it doesn't.
Drunk girl to sober girl: Does this say, “hey, what's up?”
Sober girl: No. It says, “al aloof ah.”
Brantford
Ontario
Canadia
