If You Don't Want to Go to Grandma's, Just Say So.

Mom: I'll shoot you, then you'll shoot me, and we won't have to go anywhere.
Daughter: Mom…?
Mom: What? I'm just saying. If we shot each other we couldn't go anywhere, anyways.

Dressing Room in Mall
Pennsylvania

Posted on September 9, 2009
Family, Girls, Malls, Moms, Murder, Parenting, Pennsylvania, Philosophy, Stupidity

Portrait Of the Scat Fetishist As a Young Man

Little boy, gleefully wiping chocolate on his father's white pants: I'm wiping your butt! Haha! I'm wiping your butt!

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Posted on September 6, 2009
Ass, Candy, Cleanliness, Dads, Kids, Michigan, Parenting, Should have used a condom

So “Boy” Is Ironic?

20-something woman to little girl's mother: Do you know who is Boy George?
Little girl: He is a boy that would've wanted to be a woman.
Amused mother: I couldn't have explained that better.

Guadalajara
Mexico

Overheard by: passerby

Posted on September 5, 2009
About celebrities, Girls, Kids, Moms, Music, Parenting, Questions, Sexuality, Wishes

You're Divorced, Mom.

Seven-year-old boy to mom: So, mom, all the kids in camp were making fun of this one boy cuz he was a stinky Yankees fan and we're all Mets fans!
Mom: Honey, if mommy can marry a Republican, than you can be friends with a Yankees fan.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Laura

Posted on September 4, 2009
Compare and contrast, Kids, Moms, New York, Parenting, Politics, Relationships

Parenting, Encapsulated.

Little boy: Mommy, come here! I have a present for you!
(mom comes over, little boy proceeds to dump a bucket of water over her head).
Little boy: Did you like it?
Mom: No.
(little boy dumps another bucket of water on her head)

Neighborhood Pool
New Jersey

Overheard by: CMac

Posted on September 1, 2009
Gifts, Kids, Moms, New Jersey, Parenting, Should have used a condom, Stupidity

When Sex Ed Works Too Well.

Biology teacher: Can anyone give me an example of a parasite?
Girl: A baby!

Madison, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Tangent

Posted on August 29, 2009
Animals, Education, Kids, Parenting, Questions, Science, Students, Teachers, Wisconsin

Like They Used to Do with Us!

Teenager, noticing little girl being led around by her mother on a leash: Look! White people be putting their kids on leashes!

The Galleria
St. Louis, Missouri

Posted on August 26, 2009
Kids, Missouri, Parenting, Race, Teens, Weirdness

I Hate to Ask Their Names, Though

Girl #1: Girl, I am pregnant.
Girl #2: Do you know who the daddy is?
Girl #1: No!
Girl #2: Girl, my doctor told me that when I sleep with a man, to write it on the calendar, so if I get pregnant they can try to find the daddy!

Elevator, Columbus State Community College
Columbus, Ohio

Posted on August 26, 2009
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Girls, Ohio, Parenting, Preggers, Pregnancy, Questions, Sex, Stupidity

…So, Uh, Wanna Talk About Your Period?

Man: So how's your baby?
Young woman: Great. He's three months old now, so he's no longer just a glorified fetus! He has emotions, and everything!
(pause)
Man, awkwardly: Oh. Huh, how about that?

Mohonk Resort
New Paltz, New York

Overheard by: Ali

Posted on August 17, 2009
Feelings, Guys, Kids, Moms, New York, Parenting, Questions

That Would End the Fun and Games

Emo guy on cell: I've got to get on the electric snake now. I'll go wherever it takes me. (pause) Tell your mom not to lose an eye, ok?

B Line
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Smallison

Posted on August 4, 2009
Animals, Body parts, Guys, Massachusetts, On the phone, Parenting, Public transportation, Train