Lady to friend: So I told him… ten dollars for a hand job!
Friend: Good for you! What an asshole!
Ashland & North Ave
Chicago, Illinois
Lady to friend: So I told him… ten dollars for a hand job!
Friend: Good for you! What an asshole!
Ashland & North Ave
Chicago, Illinois
Very drunk 20-something girl trying to play darts: So what do I do?
30-something guy #1: Just throw 'em.
30-something guy #2: Failing that, love, just take your top off.
Very drunk 20-something girl: Cheeky motherfucker! Get me a vodka and I'll do it!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Casual guy: It’s amazing how chummy they are now.
Guy in suit: Chummy? They’re like having weird gay-slash-Jewish sex.
Thornton School of Music, USC
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Yapplebee
Woman on phone, sobbing and screaming: We have two beautiful children, and you want to stick your dick in someone else?
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Teen #1 coming out of arrival gate to friend: So, when do we start coughing, sneezing and squealing to freak people out?
Teen #2: Dude, people with the swine flu don't squeal!
Teen #1: Then why the hell do they call it that?
Teen #2, jokingly: Because you have to fuck a pig to get it?
Teen #1, seriously: Well, that makes sense!
Logan Airport
Boston, Massachusetts
Loud eighth grader: Michael's such a douche, all he wants to do is get in my pants.
Even louder teacher: You're in eighth grade, you shouldn't be letting anybody in your pants!
Potomac, Maryland
Overheard by: Math is my new favorite subject…
Frat boy #1: Wait… so they didn't rape her?
Frat boy #2: No dude, turns out she had a penis. Now every time I see the girl I throw up a little in my mouth.
Laramie, Wyoming
Professor: I want you to write about the first time you did something. It can be anything. The first time you rode a bike. The first time you made a baby. (awkward pause) Wait!
Syracuse University
New York
Guy, walking angrily: She thinks that vampires evolved, so now they can be out in the sun like normal people. She also thinks it's degrading to have sex in any position other than missionary, when she's sober.
University of Delaware
Overheard by: what???
Blonde girl: Haha, imagine if my flange was a romantic love chasm… It's more of a cheeky fuckhole.
Loughborough
England
Overheard by: Gibson
