Drunk chick: So his penis ended up in my mouth. It just happens.
Backroom Tavern
Knoxville, Tennessee
Drunk chick: So his penis ended up in my mouth. It just happens.
Backroom Tavern
Knoxville, Tennessee
Teen girl #1: You know, I wish we had some sort of pregnancy switch that we can turn on and off at will. That way, when we have one night stands, we can just turn 'em off, and, voila! No baby!
Teen girl #2: We do. They're called diagrams.
Teen girl #3: You mean “diaphragms.”
Teen girl #2: Whatever.
Starbucks
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Leila
Slightly drunk chick, peering into drink: I think my cat is gay.
Really drunk friend: Hey, heyyyy…
Slightly drunk chick: Or maybe he's just a slut.
The Backdoor
Louisville, Kentucky
Professor to another: I saw you walk in with your purse, messenger bag, and backpack. You've been having sex again?
USC School of Social Work
California
Guy in wife beater on phone: She said my dick was just too long.
Casino
Las Vegas, Nevada
First grade teacher to colleague, in front of first graders: And so I walked into the living room and he was there, naked, standing on the coffee table.
Portland, Maine
Girl: So if you won £100,000,000 on the lottery what would you do?
Guy: Settle some scores. There'd be a few guys from school who'd be going to work one day and suddenly find themselves being bundled into the back of a van with a black bag over their head.
Girl: Then flown out over the north Atlantic, tied up, thrown out of the plane?
Guy: I like the way you think. We should have kids.
Girl: Nah, to get into my pants you'll need to do better than that. £2,000 of jewelery would do it. (cackles hysterically)
London
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Girl: Oh, hold on, I have to ejaculate my disk.
Montreal
Quebec
Canadia
Teenage boy: She said his bazooka was too big for her funhole.
High School
North Carolina
Overheard by: aWkWaRd
13-year-old blonde: So then he was all “I told you it wasn't mine!”
13-year-old brunette: Ohmigod, how could he do that?
13-year-old blonde: I know! It was, like, “did you or didn't you sleep with him?” He's not even gay!
Canadia
Overheard by: Laura
