The Lipstick Kind, at Least?

Size 4 girl #1: I love H&M but it makes me feel so fat. I have to wear a size 6 or 8 when I shop here.
Size 4 girl #2: Yeah, and that vest makes you look like a lesbian.

H&M
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on March 28, 2019
Beauty, Body parts, Clothes, Clothing, Default, Diet & weight, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Illinois, Sexuality, Shopping, Stores

And Don’t Even Get Me Started on This Banana Lamp

[Two 18-year-old girls are browsing a table full of random items for sale at a Christian thrift store at a local church.]Girl #1: This candle holder would probably feel great inside my pussy.
Girl #2, barely startled: Haha. Yeah.
Girl #1: Ooh, this shirt is nice!

Gothenburg
Sweden

Overheard by: Donny Boots

Posted on March 22, 2019
Clothes, Etiquette, Girls, Masturbation, Sensory experiences, Stores, Sweden, Toys, Vagina

Ones That Will Fit Over My Big-Boy Pull-Ups

Man in dressing room to employee waiting on him: Dude, I can see my ass hair. I'm a grown-ass man. Go find me some grown-ass man pants.

Las Vegas, Nevada

Posted on March 6, 2019
Age and ageing, Ass, Clothing, Customers, Employees, Hair, Nevada, Stores

Whatever You Say, Latonya

Woman in line to another: Yeah, my brother’s birthday is tomorrow. He’s Aryan.

Wal-Mart
Tracy, California

Overheard by: Jeff

Posted on February 18, 2019
Age and ageing, California, Default, Family ties, On the phone, Pride, Race, Stores, Stupidity, Whiteys, Women

Okay, So It Was Technically an Abortion, But Same Principle

Mom to daughter, wandering off: No, come back here, I don't want to lose you in the store. I already lost one of my kids that way, and that's enough.

Dollar Store
Sept-Îles
Canadia

Posted on January 8, 2019
Canadia, Girls, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Shopping, Stores

He'll Be Disappointed When He Learns It Has Nothing to Do With Guns

Youngish mom, enthusiastic: I need shot glasses for work!
Eight-year-old son, excited: I want a shot glass!!

Gift Shop
Branson, Missouri

Posted on December 30, 2018
Drinking & drunks, Kids, Missouri, Moms, Parenting, Stores, Weirdness, Wishes

That Carmen Miranda Costume Will Be Done in No Time!

Woman on cell: Slowly… over the next week… add a fruit.

Barnes & Noble
St. Louis, Missouri

Posted on November 17, 2018
Advice, Fruit, Missouri, On the phone, Stores, Time Management, Weirdness, Women

Is That a Lip-Liner and EpiPen in One?

Hottie: Here ya go — put this in your man-purse for me, please.
Indie boyfriend, indignantly: It’s not a man-purse! It’s a medical evac bag!
Hottie: Okay. You got any bandages or sterile alcohol in there?
Indie boyfriend: … No.
Hottie: Yeah, right — it’s a man-purse. [Guy sullenly puts item in bag.]

Target, Saint Matthews
Louisville, Kentucky