Guy #1: Dude, have you seen this picture?
Guy #2: Nah, dude. Show it to me.
(guy #1 shows guy #2 picture of naked girl in a scenic background)
Guy #2: Dude, do you think it's gay that I think the scenery is the prettiest thing in this picture?
Guy #3, walking by: No, you just want to fuck the planet.
Carmel, Indiana
Mother to kid: Stop that right now, or I'm going to give you to a stranger!
Stranger: Good luck finding one who'll take her.
The Baltimore Aquarium
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Cols
Guy to friend: So he asked “How's the leather work going?” So we went out and got some skins and string and made some loincloths.
Pierce County Annex
Tacoma, Washington
Conservative Jewish girl: I think that the draft should be required, like in Israel. That way, every guy would have a great body, and I could let loose and get me a hot one more easily.
UC Santa Cruz
California
Woman at diner: So I answer it, and he goes “Hi! Happy 9/11!”
Restaurant
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: of bugle be uncouth
Supportive male friend: It's okay! Just remember, you fucked her sister with a baseball bat.
Cute girl: I know, I know…
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Woman to another: And I said to him, “well, if I had oily hands, I wouldn't come into your office and wipe them on your underpants!”
Portsmouth
England
Girl on cell: I have midterms! I don't have time to go to the fat lady with the lollipop! (pause) Buh-bye.
Roosevelt University
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: morgz
