Roid Rager, angrily: Nobody gives me the finger while I'm driving!
Hipster, calmly: Well, you need to slow down. It's a parking lot.
Roid Rager, enraged: You wanna do something about it?
Hipster: No. I'm not gonna fight you in front of Sears.
Rockaway Mall, New Jersey
Overheard by: Joe Bagodonuts
20-year-old female emo: So basically, after hours of arguing outside his house, I was so fed up I told him to fucking suck my dick.
30-year-old female friend: Wow, what happened after that?
20-year-old female emo: I left. He was being such a fucking cunt. I wanted to piss in his mouth. He made me drive home drunk!
30-year-old female friend: He could at least offer to like, let you spend the night.
20-year-old female friend: Like, I don't even know, he's such a bitch boyfriend. I honestly hopes he gets the herpes.
30-year-old female friend: You have such a dirty mouth.
20-year-old female emo: Oh, is my lipstick smudged or something?
Starbucks
San Francisco, California
Guy (joyous): I want to stay in college forever!
Girl (ecstatic): I want to put in a new tampon!
www.overheardatyale.com
Guy to cab driver: I just want to go where nobody knows my name.
Cab driver: You mean Cheers, “where everybody knows your name”?
Guy: No.
Logan Airport
Boston, Massachusetts
Little girl, leaving church: We have to go to bed!
Mom: No, we're going home, and then we're going to eat dinner.
Little girl: And *then* we'll go to bed?
Mom: If you're good.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Hazzenkockle
Girl #1: I wish we had the same size feet.
Girl #2: Well, it's your fault.
Girl #1: How is it my fault? It's not like one day I woke up and was like, “yo Jesus, make my feet three sizes bigger than my sister's.”
Roosevelt Field
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: greg
Preschool teacher #1: I wouldn't want to spill coffee on those shoes.
Preschool teacher #2: Why not?
Preschool teacher #1: Because they'd get coffee stains on them.
Rumson, New Jersey
Woman #1: I've always wanted to go to London.
Woman #2: I've never really wanted to fly overseas, but one place I would like to go is Venice.
Woman #1: Venice? Really?
Woman #2: Yeah. But I'd like to have a nice Italian man to go with me, like Antonio Banderas.
Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania
English teacher, on how language features are used in advertisements: So in the end, this advertisement is making all the single women of the world think “hello? I wanna be like the yoghurt!”
English Class
Christchurch
New Zealand
(little boy and mother pass bake sale)
Little boy: I wanna cookie! I wanna cookie! Can we please get a cookie?
Mother: You don’t want those cookies.
Little boy: What’s wrong with them?
Mother: Those are Democrat cookies.
Bake Sale for Obama Campaign
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Jamie
