Advice

(a group of people are standing on the steps of the station, singing about Christianity)
Man, sprinting across the road: Run for your lives! He's preaching Jesus!

Flinders Street Station
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Skeeta

Girl #1: I wonder if there are exercises to strengthen that.
Girl #2: I know. I tried to look into it once because I can't go down that far without gagging. Is that weird? I want skill tips.
Girl #1: I just use my hand a lot so I don't have to skit it down far.
Girl #2: Okay, so I think it's because I started out with not a lot of girth, but now guys are like, “you can squeeze harder.” And I'm like, “uuum…are you sure?” I feel like I”m going to break your fucking dick off.
Girl #1: Yeah. It makes it go faster. Dicks are resilient. Get violent.

Madison Children's Museum
Madison, Wisconsin

Woman #1: We went to a club together one time and they were still dating, and he kept trying to kiss me. Well, I refused to. But then my cell phone got stolen and I was mad, so we made out. A lot.
Woman #2: You made out with him because your phone got stolen?
Woman #1: Yeah, basically. I was pissed and trying to have a good night, and he's very attractive. So I was like, “let's go!”
Woman #2: I think you're my hero.
Woman #1: I'm supposed to go to a concert with him next week.
Woman #2: Well, don't lose your wallet, because then you'll have to do him.

Fayetteville, North Carolina

Overheard by: James

Professor: So where else could the US get money for the $700 billion dollar economic bailout other than the American taxpayers?
Student: I think that they should have a bake sale!

Meredith College
Raleigh, North Carolina

Overheard by: Jen

Crying girl to boyfriend: But I love you! You love me!
Boyfriend: Listen very carefully to me. I fucked her. You shouldn't have been a bitch to me about your friends. Now you can get over this and stop being a bitch and we can go get dinner and ice cream and then go home and fuck like sexy little drunk bunnies, or you can keep it up and find yourself without a boyfriend. Your call. Move on and be in love with me, or be a bitch and get dumped.
Girlfriend, still crying: I'm sorry.
Boyfriend: I know. It's okay.

Atlanta, Georgia

Awkward girl: Are you an organ donor?
Uninterested guy: No.
Awkward girl: You should donate your skin. It's nice. Non-cancerous.
Uninterested guy: I'm good.
Awkward girl: Oh. So what's up with guys always having to spread their seed?

BART Train
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Grace

Chick: Giving a blow job is totally the best lip plumper.

Alameda, California

Teacher: You know, when I was your age we didn't have classes like this. If you wanted to learn about personal finance, you got a job. If you wanted to learn about sex, you went to the bathroom.

Rock Bridge High School
Columbia, Missouri

Middle-aged dude #1: You should petition the State High School League to make killing with porcupines a sport.
Middle-aged dude #2: Yeah, with the quills and everything.
Middle-aged dude #1: Exactly! That's what I'm saying.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/357841156/idea-men.html

Overheard by: I grabbed my blackberry as soon as I heard it.

Skinny woman: So what do you do?
Fat woman: I'm a dietitian.
Skinny woman: You should give me some advice!

Menands, New York