Guy #1: What are you gonna do for your spare?
Guy #2: I don’t know, probably get a sandwich and beat off in the library.
High School
British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Nick
Guy #1: What are you gonna do for your spare?
Guy #2: I don’t know, probably get a sandwich and beat off in the library.
High School
British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Nick
Mother to quietly weeping child: Can’t you just… be happy?
Target Parking Lot
Cumming, Georgia
Overheard by: Caylin
Goth chick: Don’t talk to me about the year 2012. The year 2012 is seriously pissing me off.
Otaku chick: Try to stick around for 2013 anyway. Just trust me on this one.
University Plaza
Colorado State
Student: So if I, like, read something in the library and I memorize it, am I, like, stealing it with my mind?
Instructor: Yes. You can steal things with your mind.
Copy Editing Class
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Chick: Do I look pregnant in this dress?
Boyfriend: Nah, I told you. It just looks like something a pregnant person would wear.
Lakeline Mall
Austin, Texas
Little boy, to stoic mother in shoe aisle: I love the night life! I like the boobies! I love the night life! I like the boobies!
(five minutes later, at checkout lane)
Little boy, to stoic mother: I love the night life! I like the boobies! I love the night life! I like the boobies!…
Kohl’s
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Me too, my man.
Guy: What are you showing me? Bruises on your knees? You can’t do that with every guy in the band you know.
Girl: I know. But that would be awesome if I could!
Carroll Community College
Maryland
Overheard by: Left Speechless
Mother to impatient son: Do you want to show me how you count?
Five-year-old: Ok. One. Two. Three. Fuck.
Mother: What!? Adam*, you know you’re not supposed to say…
Four-year-old: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Mother: Adam*, I said stop! That’s a very, very bad word.
Four-year-old, putting hands on ears: You fuck, you fuck, you fuck.
Holt Renfrew
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: M
Seven-year-old girl: Mom, when I grow up I wanna be big and beautiful.
Mom: What?
Seven-year-old girl: You heard me, big and beautiful!
Target, Connecticut
American backpacker girl, about her new hostel boyfriend: So, as of this afternoon, he’s one step closer to not being a virgin.
Dutch girl, shocked: What about your period?!
American friend, walking up: Don’t worry. Just do it. He won’t even know what’s going on anyways.
Loki Hostel
La Paz
Bolivia
