Oh Yeah, You’d Like Me to Pour You on My Meat

Guy to friend: My hot sauce packet is talking dirty to me.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Josh

Posted on August 2, 2015
California, Default, Etiquette, Fears, Food, Friends, Guys, Sexuality, Weirdness

Suck His Toes and You’ll Be High for Days

Large black woman on cell: Girl! I’m tellin’ you, I don’t know where I gots them warts on my feets. But they nasty! I don’t want to give them to nobody else, so I brought me some lil’ socks, you know… Them cushy foots? Not like Earl, who goes barefoot all over the city with them mushroom funguses on his toes. His toenails be like baby powder! They all crumbly and shit.

Detroit Metro Airport
Detroit, Michigan

Overheard by: Trying not to barf (and glad I wore socks)

Posted on July 31, 2015
Airports & flights, Black people, Body parts, Clothes, Compare and contrast, Etiquette, Health & Hygiene, Hoochies, Maladies, Michigan, On the phone, Threats, Women

Strangely Less Inappropriate

Bro #1: You were about to make fun of a girl who was missing a hand!
Bro #2 (defensively): An arm!

Rogue Valley Mall
Medford, Oregon

Posted on July 28, 2015
Assholes, Body parts, Default, Etiquette, Hands, Malls, Oregon, Siblings

But I Told You Not to Call Me at Work, Grandma

Salesclerk: Your total is $1.81. [Into her cellphone.] Don’t worry, girl, I am listening to yo’ hideous self!

Lawrence, Kansas

Overheard by: kerblammerz

Posted on July 23, 2015
Default, Employees, Etiquette, Guys, Insults, Kansas, Money, On the phone, Stores

Wow–Guess You're in Love With the Boy

Girl #1: What is meant to be will always find its way.
Girl #2: Oh, don't give me that crap right now!

UCLA, California

Overheard by: Mallory

Posted on July 19, 2015
Advice, California, Colleges & Universities, Etiquette, Girls, Philosophy

How This Is Relevant to Jane Eyre Has Yet to Become Clear

Professor: So the idea of women getting foreplay before sex often ends up being a way…
Student (cutting her off): For him to get you just wet enough so he can stick it in.
Professor: Well, I was trying to think of a more polite way to say it, but…yes.

http://www.overheardatumbc.com

Posted on July 15, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Etiquette, Foreplay, Girls, Overheard at UMBC, Students, Teachers, Women, Words

You Brits Even Make Farting Sound Civilized

British woman: Pardon me, I have to go get meself centered.

Yoga Studio
Los Angeles, California

Posted on July 15, 2015
California, Etiquette, Weirdness, Women

What the Fuck Is Going on in Leamington Spa??

Very drunk 20-something girl in miniskirt #1, singing: Fill my hole, fill my hole, fill my hole, fuh-uh-illlll my hole!
Very drunk 20-something in miniskirt #2#: Becky*! Don't sing that!
Very drunk 20-something girl in miniskirt #1#, singing off key: But I just waaaaant you to fuh-illll mah ho-alll!
Very drunk 20-something girl in miniskirt #2# to passing man: She's training to be a vet. She's not usually like this, she's had a bit too much to drink.
Man: Yeah… She wants someone to fill her hole.
Very drunk 20-something girl in miniskirt #1#: I'm not drunk!
Man: I believe you.
(very drunk 20-something girl in miniskirt 1# holds hand over mouth and impressively sprays vomit in five directions)
Very drunk 20-something in miniskirt #2#: Becky*, I think we're going to have to get a taxi…

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep