Did That Come Out Of Me?

Woman in bathroom stall, on cell : … That’s just how it is… No, that’s my pee you’re hearing… Anyways, what did she say? Wait a second, I have to wipe…

Spokane Airport
Spokane, Washington

Overheard by: wish i had held it…

Posted on September 28, 2015
Airports & flights, Etiquette, On the phone, Pee, Sensory experiences, Washington, Weirdness, Women, Words

Theme Parks Are Quite Different in Europe

Loud, fat american teen: I have to take the biggest leak ever. Pause. And then I want to check out those hedgehogs.

Market in Freiburg, Germany

Posted on September 21, 2015
Animals, Default, Etiquette, Fat people, Germany, Pee, Stores, Teens, Tourists, Wishes

In Our Family, We Get Our Pornography from the Internet

Boy, holding bodice-ripper romance novel: Dad, is this a book for fifth-graders?
Distracted father: No. Put it back.
Boy: What is it?
Distracted father: Hardcore pornography. Put it back.

Fairwood, Washington

Overheard by: he was so hopeful

Posted on August 10, 2015
Books, Dads, Etiquette, Kids, Parenting, Porn, Questions, Washington

Ooh, Stool Softener–Perfect!

Middle-aged matronly looking woman: Well, while we’re here I can get some of this stocking stuffer shit.

Walgreens
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on August 7, 2015
Clothes, Default, Etiquette, Gender issues, Illinois, Undies, Women

Oh Yeah, You’d Like Me to Pour You on My Meat

Guy to friend: My hot sauce packet is talking dirty to me.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Josh

Posted on August 2, 2015
California, Default, Etiquette, Fears, Food, Friends, Guys, Sexuality, Weirdness

Suck His Toes and You’ll Be High for Days

Large black woman on cell: Girl! I’m tellin’ you, I don’t know where I gots them warts on my feets. But they nasty! I don’t want to give them to nobody else, so I brought me some lil’ socks, you know… Them cushy foots? Not like Earl, who goes barefoot all over the city with them mushroom funguses on his toes. His toenails be like baby powder! They all crumbly and shit.

Detroit Metro Airport
Detroit, Michigan

Overheard by: Trying not to barf (and glad I wore socks)

Posted on July 31, 2015
Airports & flights, Black people, Body parts, Clothes, Compare and contrast, Etiquette, Health & Hygiene, Hoochies, Maladies, Michigan, On the phone, Threats, Women

Strangely Less Inappropriate

Bro #1: You were about to make fun of a girl who was missing a hand!
Bro #2 (defensively): An arm!

Rogue Valley Mall
Medford, Oregon

Posted on July 28, 2015
Assholes, Body parts, Default, Etiquette, Hands, Malls, Oregon, Siblings

But I Told You Not to Call Me at Work, Grandma

Salesclerk: Your total is $1.81. [Into her cellphone.] Don’t worry, girl, I am listening to yo’ hideous self!

Lawrence, Kansas

Overheard by: kerblammerz

Posted on July 23, 2015
Default, Employees, Etiquette, Guys, Insults, Kansas, Money, On the phone, Stores

Wow–Guess You're in Love With the Boy

Girl #1: What is meant to be will always find its way.
Girl #2: Oh, don't give me that crap right now!

UCLA, California

Overheard by: Mallory

Posted on July 19, 2015
Advice, California, Colleges & Universities, Etiquette, Girls, Philosophy

How This Is Relevant to Jane Eyre Has Yet to Become Clear

Professor: So the idea of women getting foreplay before sex often ends up being a way…
Student (cutting her off): For him to get you just wet enough so he can stick it in.
Professor: Well, I was trying to think of a more polite way to say it, but…yes.

http://www.overheardatumbc.com

Posted on July 15, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Etiquette, Foreplay, Girls, Overheard at UMBC, Students, Teachers, Women, Words

Etiquette