Family ties

(on a bus passing city jail)
Mom: Look kids… that's where daddy is.
(pause)
Mom: I can give you a haircut.
Man: I like the lady who does my hair, she has good mirrors so I can see the back of my head.
Mom: I've got good mirrors. I've got mirrors on the ceiling, too.

Bus
Omaha, Nebraska

Girl: Do you ever get the feeling we're, like, related to monkeys?

Bryn Mawr College
Pennsylvania

Costumed dad to little girl: You need to listen. Understand? You will not take your clothes off!

Star Wars 30th Anniversary Celebration
Los Angeles, California

Girl to friend: So he was already crying because he found out we weren't Jewish. Then he was like, “But aunt Jill is Jewish! Why aren't we?!” My mom had to explain that Jill's her best friend, not her sister. So then he found out we weren't related to Jacob and everyone. So he cried even harder.
Friend: Wow.
Girl: Yeah, but he was like 10, so he should have just sucked it up.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Tyler

Older man walking into a jewelery store, to another: I'm not a sugar-daddy, am I?

Fashion Valley Mall
San Diego, California

30-something male drunk: You're not my mother!
20-something female drunk: I'm not your mother. I'm just telling you that it's not okay to grunt and lunge at people.

Pacifica, California

Overheard by: Slightly

Teen girl: Mom, guess what he got me for an early Christmas present?
Mother: What, honey?
Teen girl: A gas-mask bong–like in that movie Knocked Up. And it's purple!
Mother: Jeez, your dork-o-meter is in the red.

MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia

Little boy looking at gorillas: You can tell that one's the dad, because he looks angry.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/318435466/that-method-is-84-accurate.html

Overheard by: rsp

Small child to father: You're a sad puppy that burps. You're a stinky puppy that's sad… and burps.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/09/daddys-little-girl.html

Overheard by: elizabeth

Middle aged redneck to cute four-year-old girl: You’re just as sharp as your great granddaddy! You’re gonna grow up to write about public restrooms in America!

Gas Station
Waco, Texas