More Of a Sugar Grandpa

Older man walking into a jewelery store, to another: I'm not a sugar-daddy, am I?

Fashion Valley Mall
San Diego, California

Posted on September 5, 2020
California, Default, Family ties, Guys, Malls, Names, Old folks, Pop culture, Questions, Words

Weren't We Fencing?

30-something male drunk: You're not my mother!
20-something female drunk: I'm not your mother. I'm just telling you that it's not okay to grunt and lunge at people.

Pacifica, California

Overheard by: Slightly

Posted on August 29, 2020
Advice, California, Default, Drunks, Etiquette, Family ties, Girls, Guys

I'm Pretty Sure Steve Urkel Had a Gas-Mask Bong

Teen girl: Mom, guess what he got me for an early Christmas present?
Mother: What, honey?
Teen girl: A gas-mask bong–like in that movie Knocked Up. And it's purple!
Mother: Jeez, your dork-o-meter is in the red.

MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on May 29, 2020
Default, Family ties, Georgia, Girls, Moms, Movies, Questions, Teens, Train, Women

Dads Often Regret Not Eating Their Young

Little boy looking at gorillas: You can tell that one's the dad, because he looks angry.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/318435466/that-method-is-84-accurate.html

Overheard by: rsp

Posted on April 30, 2020
Default, Family ties, Feelings, Guys, Kids, Overheard in Minneapolis

…According to Perez.

Small child to father: You're a sad puppy that burps. You're a stinky puppy that's sad… and burps.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/09/daddys-little-girl.html

Overheard by: elizabeth

Posted on April 17, 2020
Animals, Burping & farting, Compare and contrast, Family ties, Overheard in PDX, Should have used a condom

If One of Our Editors Doesn’t Beat You to It

Middle aged redneck to cute four-year-old girl: You’re just as sharp as your great granddaddy! You’re gonna grow up to write about public restrooms in America!

Gas Station
Waco, Texas

Posted on April 8, 2020
Default, Family ties, Jobs & Careers, Rednecks, Stupidity, Texas

The Wolf Was No Match for Grandma

Dad: Later, we need to find grandma a boyfriend.
Seven-year-old son: Grandma already has a boyfriend, though.
Dad: Really? Who?
Seven-year-old son: She's married to granddad!
Dad: No, no, your other grandma.
Seven-year-old son: Oh yeah, she really needs a boyfriend.

Train
Manchester
England

Posted on April 5, 2020
Compare and contrast, Dads, England, Family ties, Kids, Relationships, Train

Preferably in the Drawing Room With a Candlestick

Young woman shouting to older gentleman: Why can't Dr Molar do his own wife?

Olive Garden
Indianapolis, Indiana

Posted on April 1, 2020
Family ties, Guys, Indiana, Questions, Restaurants, Sex, Women

Hardly Worse Than Getting Dick-Poked Before Birth

[husband and wife are pushing stroller through the mall. Suddenly another man rushes up and picks the husband up, twirling him around while everyone cracks up]Man, looking over at child: Wow, that would be a really awkward first memory!

Spotsylvania Towne Centre
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Overheard by: That Girl In The Kiosk

Posted on March 31, 2020
Family ties, Feelings, Stores, Virginia, Weirdness

Wait– What Exactly Are You Using As a Volleyball?

Mom to three-year-old son under the table: Whatcha’ doin’ under there, buddy?
Three-year-old son: Playing volleyball.
Dad: Volleyball? Smells like you’re pooping your pants.
Three-year-old son, giggling: I am.
Three-year-old son’s sister to friend: See, I told you it wasn’t the food.

Los Tres Amigos Mexican Restaurant
Michigan

Overheard by: Scott

Posted on March 29, 2020
Default, Family ties, Food, Girls, Guys, Kids, Lies, Michigan, Moms, Poop, Questions, Restaurants, Sensory experiences, Siblings

Family ties