She's Always Regretted Not Attending Finishing School

Girl #1: Wait, your mom is 50?
Girl #2: No, she just pees a lot.

Charleston, South Carolina

Overheard by: Aubree

Posted on September 11, 2016
Age and ageing, Family ties, Girls, Pee, Questions, South Carolina

If Not, a Dramatic Re-enactment Will Suffice

Male student: So after leaving my mom a note explaining I was going to New York, my friend and I just drove there. We saw a hobo pee in a cup then dump it out!
Female student: Sweet! Can I see?

Bus, University of Michigan

Posted on September 10, 2016
Bus, Default, Family ties, Geography, Girls, Guys, Michigan, Pee, Questions, Students

There Are Entire Websites Devoted to That Sort Of Thing, Sweetie.

Three-year-old daughter, pointing at huge woman: Dada, she has a big booty.
Father: Sweetie, you don't want to talk about other people's booties.
Three-year-old daughter: But dada, she couldn't sit on our toilet. It is too small for her.
Father: Okay. (hurriedly moves out of the aisle)
Three-year-old daughter: Her booty is too big for pee and poop to come out. She makes a big mess and gets it all over! (father starts pushing faster)

Supermarket
Quincy, Massachusetts

Posted on August 29, 2016
Ass, Dads, Default, Family ties, Girls, Guys, Kids, Massachusetts, Pee, Poop, Stores

And My Analyst Will Hold You While I Do So

Man on cell: I've never shown hostility towards women, but if you ever call that transvestite my mother, I will beat you senseless.

Savannah, Georgia

Posted on July 8, 2016
Family ties, Gender issues, Georgia, Guys, On the phone, Parenting, Threats, Violence

Plus, Mom and Aunt Betty Stopped Speaking

High school girl to friend: And then I… oh, wait… I heard this from from my boyfriend, and I just can't believe it. I can't believe you stopped dating your cousin!
Friend: I know, but it just wasn't working out.

Colton, California

Overheard by: Kip K.E.H.

Posted on July 5, 2016
California, Family ties, Friends, Relationships, Students

In Her Basement

Woman #1: He's 41 and a millionaire, what's wrong with him?
Woman #2: He lives with his mother.

Geelong
Australia

Overheard by: laughing

Posted on June 29, 2016
Age and ageing, Australia, Default, Family ties, Money, Questions, Women

Pearls Of Wisdom from How to Raise a Serial Killer

Rich mother: Well, you'll just have to hold it! You can't go to the bathroom around here! They are positively disgusting, you'll die!
Little child, crying: Please, mommy, I need to go!
Rich mother: Don't you value your life?

Annapolis, Maryland

Overheard by: Alex Ello