Schoolboy #1: I hear there's this law in America where if you're a guy you can marry your brother.
Schoolboy #2: That's wrong.
Schoolboy #1: Even if you're a dude!
Adelaide
Australia
Schoolboy #1: I hear there's this law in America where if you're a guy you can marry your brother.
Schoolboy #2: That's wrong.
Schoolboy #1: Even if you're a dude!
Adelaide
Australia
Older lady, to friend: If your husband dies they'll find you a new one, the Jewish people.
Kansas
Large man: You need a back rub?
Girl rubbing shoulder in pain: I’m fine, thanks.
Large man: I give great massages. My mama says it’s better than a orgasm.
MUNI bus
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: melissa
Young professional woman: So, my husband and I decided we were ready to have a baby, but when I got pregnant I sort of freaked out and thought I wasn't ready. So I went out with my girlfriends, ate a bunch of sushi, smoked a pack of cigarettes and drank a fifth of tequila. Sure enough, the next day, I got my period. That shit really is bad for the pregnancy.
Flight over Atlanta, Georgia
Girl #1: Wait, your mom is 50?
Girl #2: No, she just pees a lot.
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Aubree
Male student: So after leaving my mom a note explaining I was going to New York, my friend and I just drove there. We saw a hobo pee in a cup then dump it out!
Female student: Sweet! Can I see?
Bus, University of Michigan
Three-year-old daughter, pointing at huge woman: Dada, she has a big booty.
Father: Sweetie, you don't want to talk about other people's booties.
Three-year-old daughter: But dada, she couldn't sit on our toilet. It is too small for her.
Father: Okay. (hurriedly moves out of the aisle)
Three-year-old daughter: Her booty is too big for pee and poop to come out. She makes a big mess and gets it all over! (father starts pushing faster)
Supermarket
Quincy, Massachusetts
Man on cell: I've never shown hostility towards women, but if you ever call that transvestite my mother, I will beat you senseless.
Savannah, Georgia
High school girl to friend: And then I… oh, wait… I heard this from from my boyfriend, and I just can't believe it. I can't believe you stopped dating your cousin!
Friend: I know, but it just wasn't working out.
Colton, California
Overheard by: Kip K.E.H.
Woman #1: He's 41 and a millionaire, what's wrong with him?
Woman #2: He lives with his mother.
Geelong
Australia
Overheard by: laughing
